-About a Girl-

2007-03-06T12:57:00.000+08:00

NEW BLOG!

www.misspedantic.blogspot.com

bye bye closetgroupie =)

2006-12-04T18:43:00.000+08:00

In case you didn't know, I'll be back in M'sia on the 28th of December, before which I will be spending for days in Thailand. I'll be in Asia til the 19th of January, so of course mamak sessions and pool games at the expense of yours truly would, without a doubt, be graciously accepted.

So, Salsaaaa. I've been going for salsa nights for the past few weeks and can I say fuck, I love it. Not only does it make me feel like I'm doing some excercise, but more importantly its the only thing that keeps me sane while I (pretend to) study every other night and drive myself nuts.

Anywho lets get straight to the poiint: chances are this is my last blog post here ever, I just haven't got the time, nor have I the interest anymore. If I'm keeping it, i'll probably only use it for a photo blog which will prove to be just as interesting but as for actually writing about stuff? Nah.

THe last thing I'd like to say is that the Malaysian government has lost all respect whatsoever from me. THis is upon hearing that they're planning to spend some insane amount of money on sending a guy into space to make teh tarik and play congkak, or something like that. OMG. There's a million things the government could do with all that money, and they want to waste it on image and glory? Hate to break it to you, but...the whole world's laughing.

Malaysia, I love you, but seriously, the longer your people remain apathetic, the faster your opportunities (and cash) will go down the drain.

Thats all from me. Thanks for reading =)

Boris, my holga.

2006-10-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

You give me something that makes me scared, alright.

Here are some cool photos I took over the 2 week holiday with my incredibly simple yet oh so sophisticated Holga 120 CFN. What is the Holga, you ask? Well, it is firstly a Lomocam, which many of you may know as the line of cameras that produce 4-shots-in-a-sequence-in-one-photograph aka The Actionsampler, such as this one:

Rings a bell? yes? Well, for you malaysians, if you've been to that cool shop Wondermilk that used to be in 1 Utama but have now moved elsewhere. The Holga, while unable to take sequence shots like the Actionsampler, has all these cool little quirks such as 120 mm film format, and functions like multple exposures, multiple coloured flash, vignette affect, a bulb function so that you can keep the shutter open as long as you want, allowing you to produce breathtakingly amazing photographs you (seriously) could never imagine. Photography enthusiasts looking for a whole different approach to the ART of photography, this is for you. These are all completely unedited, digitally or otherwise, just good ol film and printing at the local photo shop.

So first off, we have the 4 best shots from the first batch of photos I took just experimenting with the holga (aka Boris, as I've decided to name him. Yes, its a him.).

The first photo was taken first of a treeful of flowers, then with a second exposure going upclose to a cluster of flowers using blue flash, then a third exposure with red flash. See it? Second photo I took while waiting for a bus, I took the photo, then rotated the camera 90 degrees and took it again. I'm just so in love with the vignette and soft focus..after 3 terms of using normal SLR cameras with black and white film, discovering the Holga was a godsend.

These next photos were taken at a party using regular 35mm film. How do I fit 35mm film into a camera built for 120mm? Some sponge to fit the film in, and some sticky tape to attach the actual film to the spool, and voila. What you then get, as a result of using the smaller film, is the images going over the sprockets (those little black rectangles along the sides of the film), which, let me add, is bloody fucking cool.And last but not least, this is a 180 panaromic shot I took in a park, with Adi as my model. This one I had to scan in using a negative-specific scanner, because no photo shop would print it.

If you're wondering how I managed it, well the fact is that is all because of the greatness of the one and only Holga. As the advance lever isn't connected to the shutter release, you can basically wind on your film as little or as much as you want from exposure to exposure. So what I did for the panaromic shot was wind about 3/4 of a regular exposure, snap, turn a bit, wind again, snap, turn again...

The possibilities with the holga are endless. If you're bored or frustrated with conventional cameras and looking for a different take and approach to taking photos, the Holga is for you. Learn about lomography from www.lomo.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In another side of things, first week of year 12's started, and my life is in such a mess. I wish I could rewind to 2 months ago and do things differently, avoid the situations I'm finding myself in and goddamit just KEEP MY STUPID MOUTH SHUT.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt this lost and isolated from everything else since, I duno, when I was 12 and hating everything.

So I guess what I'm saying is that the next 12 months or so of my life are gona be hectic, and this past week has been no exception. Trying to run the school Amnesty group, helping out with enrolment for next year's batch of newbies, designing the school yearbook, trying to keep a group of friends from falling apart, and the stupidest part of all, getting into stupid feuds with people much lesser than myself...All in a week? Talk about overload. BUT, getting not one, not two, not 3, but...Four awards for photography and visual arts, the 2 subjects I can just breeze through and blitz without even trying, is oh so rewarding.

I'm just at that annoying point where I'm starting to see the bad in everything around me, especially at school. Even my teachers are letting me down; now who am I supposed to quote and admire and suck up to? gah, frustratedness.

And as I like to do, I shall end this post with a playlist of a beautiful mishmash of good ol favorites, and also semi-obscure music from all over the world that you should damn straight get acquainted with, and thank me for introducing you to (this is the point where I tell you not to take me so seriously, but seriously, these are great tunes):-

7/4, also known as Shoreline - Broken Social Scene
Anthems for a 17 year olf Girl - Broken Social Scene
When Soul meets body - Deathcab for Cutie
Diablo Rojo - Rodrigo y Gabriela
Foc - Rodrigo y Gabriela
Libertango - Rodrigo y Gabriela
Every song ever recorded by Rodrigo y Gabriela
Amber - 311
A la Faveur de L'Autumne - Tete
So Flute - St Germain
Your Love Gets Sweeter - Finley Quaye
Sunday Shining - Finley Quaye
How Deep is Your Love - BeeGees
I Don't Feel Like Dancin - Scissor Sisters
Lovestain - Jose Gonzalez
Save Your Day - Jose Gonzalez
Put Your Records on - Corinne Bailey Rae
The Jeep Song - The Dresden Dolls
Talkin Bout My Baby - Fatboy Slim

Goodnight, lovelies.

strokes pics

2006-10-02T14:37:00.000+08:00

The holidays are here! Its party party party time for kimmy.

Tomorrow, I'm buying the Holga 120DFN in time for this weekend's festivities.

aaanyway, check this out guys:

yep yep, strokes pix. Nothing fancy, but still..

yeah, if you stare hard enough, you might just be able to make out valensi.

yay, heads.

Strokes triplets: me, adi, trish. I love this pic. =)

2006-09-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

He's so cute, he's so cute...

aah, Kim is puppy-love struck. =)))

Tomorrow is the last day of the term, and after the 2 week break starting monday, its year 12 for us and then up next is uni, or brazil, or aid work, whatever...pretty unbelievable shit.

BUT, it also means the current year 12s are leaving tomorrow...NICOLE!!! argh.

Thing is, its only been in the past few weeks that I've gotten to know some really amazing people from year 12 I never even knew existed, and now they're leaving me with my grade. My grade's ok I guess...I guess.

but yes, I'm relieved, the holidays are finally here and I can catch up on reading and photography. tralala.

prraatata

2006-09-25T14:15:00.000+08:00

Recap of the past week:

Saturday - fever.

Sunday - fever and sorethroat.

Monday - fever, sorethroat, phlegm, sniffles, stayed home and rested.

Tuesday - it got worse. Still no school.

Wednesday - bloody phlegm. uh oh, ok, see the doc. doc says take meds and all will be good.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday - still the same, antibiotics are shit. I start eating insane amounts of fruit and it seems to work.

A week away from school is like isolating yourself from the rest of the world for a week. That, and a million other personal things I'm going through at the moment makes it a recipe for tremendous imbalance and losing a sense of yourself and your place amongst your friends, school, home.

In other words, right here, right now in this moment, I am completely unsure of anything in my life. I feel like I've been knocked unconscious, had my sould moved into this body, and woke up to find that nothing fits and nothing makes sense.

And today, today I couldn't have disappointed myself more. My perfectionism, I've discovered, is lethal to my self assurance and sense of being.

My english speech was shit.

My captaincy one was, to be gentle, five levels worse than shit, the last nail in the coffin thats making me want to just give up and say fuck you to the rest of the world. It was that bad.

I started off awesome, but lost it halfway through. I think no matter what the prize at stake is, even if it is something as big a deal as being school captain, when your heart's not into it, when you're not driven by that insane passion to get it no matter what, there is just no way you can take it as seriously as someone else who's been vying for it for yonks more than you.

That, added to the fact that I'm just no good with talking about myself to a whole bunch of students, trying to convince them in 3 minutes as to why they should vote me as their captain, without them talking back or asking me questions...seriously, not my thing.

To me its always a competition that I have to win, and today I knew that someone else would get it and not me, so basically I just lost it halfway through. Gave up. Demotivated. Couldn't give a fuck...let the perky girls have it, they know how to win hearts. And the second I realised this, my confidence and mental preparation just flew away too, making myself look like a total idiot in front of those that counted. And my teachers, oh god! My french and society & culture teachers, my favorite teachers out of all, were right at the back watching, hoping for me to shine through and getting the worst. Knowing you've let down the people you look up to so much and placed so much faith in you could very well be worse than disappointing yourself. My only saving grace is that I'm not taking this too seriously; I'm over it and as I'd said before, I'd rather be taking care of the Amnesty group.

But still.

And so this malancholy numbness is back, denying the fact that I've let myself down in the stupidest way ever when I could have done so much better.

Yep.

And the winner is....

2006-09-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

Guess what....

I'M RUNNING FOR SCHOOL CAPTAIN.

Hahahahahhhahaaha.

Me. Kimberley Low. The prefect-hating, authority detesting, nonconformistic anti-stereotype, or so they say. Thing is, I fucking hate selling myself, especially to win hearts. Its all so....SUPERFICIAL. I'm more of a "you've seen what I do, the way I go about things, and if you think I'll be a good leader then pick me, I don't want to have to verbally convince you" type.

I'm filling in my nomination form right now, and I have to answer this question "What is your vision for the position of school captain of 2007?"..........oh gawd.

I soooo wana answer, "What is your opinion of stupid corny questions that every single person who fills in the answer to will lie, or at the very least, exagerrate about?"

Truisms

2006-09-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

I just love how I type in "Eric Johnson Cliffs of Dover" in the limewire search bar, and they give me results like "sisters fucking in backyard pool". Oh yeah.

I want to run for school captain, but I know I won't get it. I want to be captain not for the sake of it, but because I know I can lead this school well, that I will listen to people, that I can make a difference. The sad truth is that captain elections are more or less popularity contests, and lord knows how much I hate selling myself for affection.

To spend summer in Malaysia playing pool, eating endless series of roti canais, sipping on teh o ais limau, complaining about the food at Asia Cafe but fucking loving it anyway, dancing and eargasm-ing at the Loft (its the little things you miss the most)....or to stay here in Oz and paint, get my life in order, and be serious about my future for once?

A month of vegetarianism with no relapses; I'm so proud of myself. The hard part is going to work every weekend and seeing all that glorious food and for a second forgetting why I made the choice anyway, but then my senses come back and each time I make the right choice, my conscience grows clearer. There is no greater feeling than knowing you've resisted temptation for a greater cause.

Ben Harper is like no other.

I like the fact that there is only one person in this whole entire planet thats allowed to call me "baby" in the most sincere and genuine way, and we're not even in a relationship.

Read of the month: The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer.

The only thing I've ever been definitely 100% sure of in my life is that I want to take a career path in human rights. In class we were discussing poverty and hunger in unegalitarian societies and Kevin, my society and culture teacher whom I admire so much said something thats been playing over and over in my mind ever since: "There is no reason why we can't feed every single person on the planet". Brazil and the car can wait, after year 12 I'm doing a 5 weeks to 3 months thing with youth challenge. Either that, or the UN thingie my mum's signing me up for. No no, I've definitely made up my mind this time. =)

Best advice I've been given all year, from Gerard my french teacher: "Stay away from people who KNOW they're right." Understood? A very Buddhist philosophy, oui, and oh-so-true.

On friday in Society and Culture, we watched a non-dialogue documentary called "Baraka", click on the link and look at how many places all over the world they filmed in. Fucking amazing, the way it was shot, and although its quite alot to digest (quite a few scenes choked me up), its a definite must-see.

I wish I had a little player on my blog playing Rodrigo y Gabriela, so you could see for yourself how fucking awesome they are. My cd has been winning me cool points from the oldie teachers in school... They hear it and applaud me, calling me things like "intellectual, "classy", "sophisticated".

FUCK! I have to catch the SIX AM bus to school on Tuesday. TO SIT FOR A MATH TEST.

(you see, i hate math so much that I broke down and cried 4 times studying it during the weeks prior to the finals)

So, Maltese guys, huh?

And here's a biiiig I LOVE YOU to Steven, Nicole, Tash, and Narm...spread the love, spread the legs. Oh yeah.

2006-09-06T18:05:00.000+08:00

Dear blog,

I'm so sorry for neglecting you; life is busy and thoughts abundant, but alas time is a constraint. I'm currently in the process of finishing my last artwork for school for this year, and its going rather unswimmingly. No, I don't want to talk about it.

ok, I will talk about it. I've been kicking myself for being such a perfectionist; you have no idea how much thought I put into my artwork. Even my dear art teacher Sharon, someone I'd define as a TRUE hippie, is constantly asking if I'm ok, because apparently I'm looking stressed and tired.

Fact is, everything is just getting so old now. There are over 900 people in school, and yet everyone just seems the same. Finding a life out side of school is not much of an option, seeing as to how all my time goes into school.

So enough of me whining, next post I will put up some photos from Old School Day and also the Spanish Festival, of which I got to enjoy (and indulge in yummy spanish cuisine at) with dear el Grecho.

Hair

2006-08-24T17:22:00.000+08:00

By popular demand. I hate it, they love it, what doth thou think?

Anyway, I'm so sorry guys and more importantly, I'm so sorry to YOU dear blog, for not blogging...I'm so busy nowadays that I haven't the time nor the brainpower to think. I'll give you exam results, in order of satisfaction quotent.

Photography: 95% (OH YEAH)

French: 95% (still, only second place...)

Visual Arts: 84% (Could've been at least 90% if

I had time to finish the last essay)
Society & Culture: 70% (Once again, didn't finish an essay)

English: 60% (4 out of 15 for creative writing..

you should've seen the death stare my teacher gave me. Yet again its because I write too slow)

Math: 56% (HEY. I passed, ok? most people failed. Plus I hate maths anyway.)

La lutte (the struggle)

2006-08-15T10:58:00.000+08:00

We both wanted it.

I was young and naive, but bursting with the hope and drive unique only to the youthful and she, the older, more experienced one.

All night long we fought it out, not in the language of the spoken word, but a completely different, more purposeful one only two perfectly apt femmes de fatal could synchronise. Each time one raised the bar, the other would claw her way up, just that crucial tiny bit more, in the hungry and perhaps even desperate bid to win.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn," they say, and scorn we both did, driven by insatiable passion, consequentially raising the value of the prize at hand more than anyone ever could have imagined.

With each calculated action, strategy carefully devised, the more they came to watch, to gawk, to speculate in awe. Who would triumph?

It was hard, it was tough, it was ugly, and most crucially, it had a price.

As time ticked away, it became of the essence for the both of us and as time ran out, it turned into a raw, dirty, mudslinging fight. The gloves were off and both went all out, giving everything we had...the ultimate prize was at stake!

And in a split second, it was over. Both of us by then were spent, broken, exhausted, but it was apparent who had triumphed...it was I. She, the fallen heroine, the fading star had no choice, but to return to the abyss, licking her wounds and awaiting the next conquest.

And in the meantime, I, full of radiant joy and adrenalin aloft, patting myself on the back for my uber bidding skills, quickly logged on to my bank website to pay for my newly purchased "Everything is Illuminated" DVD.

Oh, the every day drama of eBay.

Don't waste your food or I'll shoot.

2006-08-12T12:51:00.000+08:00

Ok, I stole this from my myspace blog, but I think my point is very valid, therefore everyone must read this and do as I say.

As many of you know, I work in a restaraunt. More specifically, I'm a waitress in a Thai restaraunt that is 3 Junction Thai, probably the best thai you'll get in penrith. But thats not my point. As a waitress I do the usual- take your order, get you your drinks, bring you your food, clean up, etc etc. I meet person after person after person who come to 3 junction for one sole purpose - For some great Thai.

So why do you people waste your food???

Seriously, what in the world posesses people to order lots and lots of food, then eat a tiny little portion of it, and THEN throw the rest away?

Here's an example: Last night, this table of about 12 people came to eat. They ordered something like 5 plates of fried rice and 10 other dishes. (maybe I'm exagerrating a bit, but the point is they ordered alot)

Out of all that, they ended up leaving and ENTIRE plate of fried rice, enough to feed 3 people, COMPLETELY untouched, plus everything else was only half eaten.

And so I asked them politely, "would you like to take it home?"

The whole table looked at each other as if I asked them for 50 tampons to stick up my workmate's arse, and nonchalantly declined.

ARGH.

First of all, why would you order more than you can eat???

Second of all, its not just a waste of YOUR money, its a waste of the restaraunt's as well.
And most importantly, above all, do you know how bad it looks when you opt to throw away enough food to feed lunch to a family when you could easily take it home with you, eat it for lunch tomorrow, or give it to some homeless who needs it way more than the trash company does?

Seriously, do you ever think about how much you're wasting? How many starving people there are, who would kill to have a fraction of what you had for dinner to go for the whole day?

*Screams, rips hair out* It makes me so so crazy furious just thinking about it, all those selfish ignorant people. I'd love to skin you alive, slowly slice the flesh off your bones while your dear sweet heart still throbs, and then VERY slowly, from top to bottom, remove your internal organs. If for some reason you are still alive by then, I'd drop you in the fryer and laugh while you burn.

So please, please, PLEASE, next time you eat out, be a little more aware of the choices you make, be nice to the waitstaff, and finish your food.

Random psychobabble

2006-08-06T01:14:00.000+08:00

I think the message is pretty clear.

Oh, freezing my ass off-ness. It is 3.11 am, oh how I feel like listening to 311 right now...I still have their dvd I got for bazli a year ago that he still hasn't retrieved.

Last night, I saw Nick Valensi in the flesh. YES, thats sir valensi of the one and only Strokes...and yes I saw Fabrizio and Casablancas and the other two, I forget their names.

How was the crowd? Craziest mosh I've been to. A ton of bricks is nothing compared to the weight of a 6 foot tall guy crushing another 6 foot tall guy who in turn is crushing me, all 5'3 of me.

Was it painful? Oh god yes, bruise on my left shoulder and swollen ugly feet.

Did I see much? The top of their heads, and thats when I jumped.

Was it good? Hell Yeah.

strokesie strokesie nick valensi

2006-07-30T18:29:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: this is purely one of those what I did today posts, no intellectual value whatsoever. YOu've been warned.

So I don't know if crying 4 times in a weekend is a bit too extreme, but yeah thats what I did. And no, I wasn't even pms-ing.

Today was eventful, I wanted to get my mind off all this shit thats been going on, so I decided to go to the city and take some photos. Yes, I went all by myself.

The mission: to find interesting people doing interesting things and take interesting photos, followed by surprising steven at work, what with my kick asss sense of direction and all.

And this stupid photographer forgot to bring her film with her. omjg.

So I spent an hour wandering around Darling Harbour, which if you don't know plays setting to the Great Australian landmarks such as the Harbour Bridge and Opera House. Besides all that tourist attraction hoo-ha and whatnots, however, is the fact that the harbour itself is a great place to just do nothing and lie around on the grass and enjoy the sea breeze all day, or maybe take a walk by the water and watch all the weird and wonderful city people.

Found steven in the end. Kim low and steve grech going to the city together (or really anywhere for that matter) is like sending a blind and a deaf into a pitch black cave full of bats: one will have a crappy arse plan, while the other would try to swerve in the direction of another just as crappy arse plan, and in the end everyone ends up lost, in shit, and with nothing accomplished.

That, added to the fact that I've got the sniffles, plus a 2 day old headache, plus just an anti-social mood in general made it oh-so-much more fun. We ended up sitting at circular quay in front of the art museum people watching and guessing what kind of lives they've had.

We drew comics on the way home, they're pretty funny and i shall scan em in one day. 5 cool points to steven for putting up with my moodiness.

"But wait kim, aren't your final exams starting like....TOMORROW??"

And thats my conscience talking. I've given up studying, I will go badly in all my exams save for french, photography and math, so DO expect alot of whinging from yours truly.

This post has been completely and utterly pointless. Thanks for reading.

2006-07-27T17:39:00.000+08:00

Alright guys, I'm trying to go vego....yeah yeah, I know I've said (and tried) it a million times and failed, but I really really want to. Not a day goes by when my concious doesn't bug me, not to mention all my carnivore friends (yeah you steven) convincing me that meat is necessary.

IT IS NOT!!!!

So next time we hang out, DO NOT LET ME HAVE MEAT. d'accord? tres bien.

Anyway, this is just a quick pop...finals are next week. I already know I won't do well, cos I havent been studying, only TRIED to. sigh. BUT! Got all my assignments back, and nearly 100% for all of em. Full marks for the art installation, yeah baby.

Looking for new stuff to listen to? Get...

Manu Chao (remember cat empire? this guy is what they're TRYING to be)
Rodrigo y Gabriela (OMFG, GET THIS!!! Mexican duo that plays purely acoustic stuff, but its heavy metal influenced...they have covers of metallica's one and also orion, PLUS a jazzy take on stairway to heaven. You will LOVE them)
CLap Your hands say yeah
broken social scene
sufjan stevens
The Yeah Yeah Yeah's "show your bones" album
THe Grates (I have a love/hate relationship with this band, but take a listen, you might like it)

Volcano

2006-07-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

Listening to Damien Rice's Volcano, over and over again. Take a listen and you will know why.

I'm good as new again, it does not haunt me anymore, I don't think about him the same way I did before; I can sincerely and happily say that I'm completely over it.

Hey, its a big achievement for lil miss emo, I think I deserve a pat on the back.

ps, I shall not be blogging for the next few weeks, except for the odd post here and there...Finals are coming up and I want to come top in the school.

ppss, Guess who got 28 out of 30 for photography assignment, 20 PLUS out of 20 for french oral assignment, and full marks for Society and culture literature review (okok, so I got zero for one section, but thats cos I didnt bother doing it and gave up, but everything else was full marks)!

Ok, au revoir.

Sleep deprived.

2006-07-18T05:32:00.000+08:00

Oh my god. its 7.30 in the morning, I have not slept since sunday night.

Damn English assignment....I officially hate John Keats. I don't care if his romantic style of poetry is highly regarded bla bla bla, omfg I sooooo fucking hate analysing all this crap.

I STARTED 9 HOURS AGO. 4 HOURS AGO WAS THE NEWSLETTER, 4 PAGES, OMG, HOW HARD CAN THAT BE??

And its due today...gah.

Tu rendre me dingue...

2006-07-17T20:39:00.000+08:00

Ok babies, my first poem in french. I won't translate it into english, its way too corny...but you may run it through a translating site ie babelfish if you wish. (YES, I kinda want people to understand, because it hold some truth)

Sappy lovesick teenage poetry sounds so much better in a foreign language =)

Je suis une femme.

J'ai une beau famille,
une maison,
beaucoup d'amis
beaucoup d'admirateurs...

tout le chose je voudrais
je prende
j'ai

Mais je ne t'aurais jamais.
tu ne m'aimerais jamais.

Et il n'ya pas rien que je peut fais
tu me fait tristesse,
toujours

Mais tout le je peut fais
est pleuer

Alors, je pleue.

Vaiy Sam

2006-07-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

Monday afternoon, I was walking through the plaza all by myself, minding my own business as I waited for time to pass to catch Pirates of the Carribean two with some guy. I enjoy these solitary walks, because I get to tsk-tsk to myself at the tacky fashions people wear, or bitch about the penrith life in my head without having to worry about my companion getting offended.

So anyway, upon reaching the top of the escalators, I was confronted with the dreaded World Vision Booth. *Cue dramatic music*

I say dreaded, because I'm on two minds about World Vision: On one hand, its a great charity - spare a measly 39 dollars a month, and you can make a kid's life so much more livable. But on the left is the whole concept of its sponsorship programme: Out of the millions of kids they put up pictures and stories of, pick one. And to me, charity should NEVER be about favoritism, its whoever who needs it the most.

Imaginary scenario:

Typical Aussie chick sees World Vision booth.

She is compelled to take a peek at the sea of orange cards featuring faces of financially deprived, melnourished kids.

Out of the 50 hungry faces staring at her, one catches her eye.

"Oh look! That little African boy is such a cutie! How can anyone resist that gap-toothed smile and wide, hungry eyes? Lets sponsor him!"

She sponsors poor little african boy. Poor little african boy happy. 49 other kids still needy.

Feel good now?

Sigh. I don't know about everyone else, but me, picking a child to sponsor is like choosing a puppy from a window. And how can treating an abundance of equally poor and needy fellow human beings like doggies in a petshop even begin to feel like an act of charity?

Back to my story...I approached to booth.

The world vision lady glanced at me, warm smile on face.

I smiled back. Looked down.

Oh god, rows and rows of insanely adorable yet dishearteningly deprived kiddies looking at me too.

*Tears fill my eyes.* Control, control. I wanted to adopt every single one of em.

The 5 year old girl from Mongolia. The 9 year old Ethiopian boy.

Which one? Which ONE???

After 10 heart-wrenching minutes of looking at faces, reading profiles, getting more and more emotional as I went through each one, I gave up. I couldn't chose. I thought, hey, the world vision lady would know which kid needs my miniscule $39 a month, I'll let her choose for me....and she friggin picked one at random.

At RANDOM!!

*Kim's heart falls to pieces*

I was about to retort, but after a bit of thought, I decided that hey, at least its better than picking a kid for what he/she looks like. Its a sponsorship, not a pageant.

And so, with willful reluctance (juxtaposition, oh yeah), I filled in my details, chatted with the lady for a bit, and was handed my envelope of stuff. Voila, my very own sponsor child.

His name is Vaiy Sam, he's from Cambodia and he's 6. On the back of the card is a little information about his situation (rural area, parents dont earn enough to provide for family, part of the Chulkiri Adp project), and even an address where I can post letters and pictures to him. I'm gona hold off the letters for as long as possible; what am I supposed to say?

"Hi my name is Kimberley, I wanted to sponsor a world vision kid but couldn't chose so I did the random route and I got you, so I guess we're stuck together"?

But all in all, I'm happy not so much as about myself but more for the kid. In all corny cliched-ness, I hope this motivates you yourself to do something in the name of charity...giving IS better than recieving.

How to win the heart of an elitist perfectionist

2006-07-11T10:32:00.000+08:00

Grr, was just reading Suet's blog post about her and Baz, and I admit, I am a jealous little kitten. I hate hate HATE seeing lovey-dovey couples who have it so easy, who can just have their happy blissful little relationships sans obstacles such as age, geographical location, bla bla bla.

How do they do it? How do these girls meet the loves of their lives without even the slightest trying?

Is it me? Am I too short/pudgy/smart/stupid/pretty/ugly/neurotic/
vain/blunt/arrogant/straightforward/intimidating?

Is it my undying love for Super Mario, only the greatest game ever invented?

Or the fact that I do and enjoy trigonometry?

Or my crappy reverse-parking skills?

It is, isn't it? Sigh, I KNEW it.

Hmmm. Maybe it IS me. I know exactly what I want, and I tend to brush off guys who are attracted to me faster than you can say "Kim shall be a spinster forever" if they don't match up to my petty expectations, even the slightest bit.

All I seem to attract are guys who are: a) Too old (haha, this one will forever be a problem since I'm more comfortable around older people than kids my age), b) so annoyingly immature I want to slap them, or c) Just plain annoying and stupid and boring and willing.

There's nothing that annoys me more than after not more than 5 days into a relationship, the guy gets all puppy lovesick and starts with the 'I love you's and 'You're the most girl I've ever met, lets stay together forever'.

Ew ew ew ew EW. Like, seriously, strangle me and eat my corpse.

You see, the kind of guy I see myself being content with must be:

Smart
Witty
Good looking (the natural type, no coloured/waxed/permed hair please)
Knowledgable, but doesn't try to show it off
Romantic
Compassionate
Unpredictable
Opens doors, gets the bill, etc
Genuine
Well-travelled
Open minded yet opinionated, and these opinions absolutely must match mine, otherwise he has to be ok with my opinions, which would be a very hard thing to do, since I have an opinion about EVERYTHING
Well-read
Has a genuine love for the arts, music...culture in general, so we can go to all the art galleries and gigs and plays together and he won't get bored/whine/fall asleep.
Independent
Confident and comfortable in his own skin (very important, this one)
Takes care of me
Lets me take care of him
Thinks I'm funny. ha. ha. ha.
Doesn't take things too seriously, and doesn't try to appear all sensitive and suave and whatnot, because I can see right through people.
And most importantly, loves him mum. (it has been proven through Kim's super observational skills that guys who love their mums see women not just as objects of desire, but as the all-powerful goddesses we are)

As you can see, that is a very exhaustive and near-impossible checklist of criteria for a guy to match up to. Because your typical average guy is, in fact one or more of the following, which are all traits that would deter the Kim the way computers or any other form of technology besides a tv remote and a car would deter her dad:

stupid but thinks he's smart,
submissive but thinks he's his own person,
over-self-absorbed,
insensitive but tries to appear the contrary,
Thinks that things like flashy cars, money, bling etc would attract chicks (it has the reverse effect on me)
and oh my god, this is the worst of the worst: rude, ignorant, and up himself.

Sigh. Wealth and status don't matter to me, at ALL. The guy I love could be a poor painter for all I care, as long as he embodies all that I've enlisted above, its all good.

Don't worry Kimmy. *Pats self on back* Prince charming will show up, one day.

And if not, I can always resort to a life of good ol' armpit hair growing, man clothes wearing, lesbianism orientated feminism.

----------------------------------------------

Anyway, my first camwhoring sesh in like, 6 months. No joke. *like my blue polka dot dress?*

Allow Me to Educate...

2006-07-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

Back when I was 14, 15, I wanted to be a politician. Now before you judge this as some naive aspiration for power, I had very simple, and very legitimate reasons to foray into politics: I wanted to change the world, for the better. Yes, I know all the tough bits about it..people will hate me, I will be accused of lying, I will have to kiss up to the public to get myself voted for...but in the end, human rights are paramount.

(And by the way, here's a big "WAKE UP FOR FUCK'S SAKE" to all you young people who say you don't care about politics because its boring, bla bla bla...Politics effects the very way you LIVE for chrisakes, how can you not?)

Human rights. What do YOU know about it? By asking this I'm assuming most of you reading my blog are Malaysian, and its no secret that Malaysian youths are, to put it bluntly, bloody ignorant. Not only that, they just don't seem to give a fuck about anyone else so long as THEY'RE provided for with their PS2s and cool handphones and whatever else floats your boat...I'm also speaking for Australian youth here, and modern day society in general.

Like it or not, we are the luckiest and most provided-for generation ever (termed the 'Y Generation'), but the majority are also extremely selfish, ignorant, conformistic and conservative, even though everyone thinks they're being oh-so-individualistic.

Ahem, excuse that rant, I just had to get it out.

Back to my point. Human Rights. You may or may not be aware, but all over the world, people of all ages are being denied basic human rights...the right to an education, the right to proper wages, the right to basic freedom...the right to a voice. Click on the Amnesty International link on the navigation of this blog to read about the injustice millions of people are subjected to yet can't speak out about, while you and me sit on our asses reading ranty blogs. Did you know that...

In Jamaica, rape within marriage is legal?
In countries like Ethiopia, children as young as 10 years of age are kidnapped and forced into military recruitment?
and for something a little closer to home...people held under the ISA in dear sweet Malaysia can be held for up to 60 days in solitary confinement and deprived of basic needs ie food, water and clothing, often in windowless cells...and after two months, the government can issue a two-year detention order and transfer the detainees to the Kamunting Detention Centre, where they can remain indefinitely without ever being charged or tried in a court of law. And any socially literate Malaysian would know about all the unfair accusations and punishments that have been made under the shield of the ISA.

...Which leads me to the reason I'm writing this. You'd think that here in Australia, a country that prides itself over a free and fair image would give humane treatment to all. Well, scratch that. A big issue here in Oz is the topic of refugee treatment. Many refugees are placed in detention centres, where they are held for weeks, months, even years while their status is assessed, when this is completely unnecessary (refugees are generally released into community in other developed countries). Those who arrive by means other than the official government program are only allowed a Temporary Protection Visa for 3 years, during this period of which they only have certain rights, are not allowed to have family join them in Australia, nor are they allowed passports to leave the country.

In simpler terms, refugees come to Australia to escape desperate and dire situations in their home countries (I cannot even begin to explain how bad), only to be treated like bitches by the government that attempts to appear fair and compassionate, when really they're not a very compassionate bunch. Which reminds me why I threw all political aspirations out the window.

(If you're about to, or already have, labelled me a hypocrite since I'm sitting here writing about this, yes well, I do what I can as part of the school Amnesty group, I just don't gloat about it.)

I don't understand how people, especially the youth who have the power of the future in their hands, can sit back and watch all this go on and not be motivated to make a difference...geez, if you can't actively do anything about it, at LEAST try to spread awareness, make donations...any tiny little gesture to show you care. Are we all not, as human beings, entitled to the same rights as every other person on this planet? Does it not bother you that you get 3 hearty meals a day while thousands of other people are deprived of water and shelter, fundamental human needs?

Really, its not that hard.

Italy won, Germany can kiss my Korean ass.

2006-07-05T09:58:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gents, boys and girls, Italy is going to the World Cup finals and yours truly could not be more elated.

Sometimes, 17 year old girls do crazy things. Like this one in particular, she and her friend steven drove up to the station at the wee hour of 3.30 am to catch the 4 am train to the city, JUST so they could watch the beautiful game that was the Italy vs Germany on the big screens at the park near Central station. Never mind that the fog was so heavy, we almost crashed, nevermind that it was about 2 degrees celcius in the city, nevermind that it was pitch black and there were only about 10 people at the big screen watching (me, steve, a handful of german backpackers who wouldn't accept the mandarins I was giving out, and other randoms)....it was well worthit.

I have not slept since, oh, monday night?

But dear reader, if you did, as I, watch the match live...wasn't it such a kickass awesome amazing incredible super orgasmic well played game? Both teams were awesome, and I daresay Germany was even dominating. But alas the Italians got to them; that goal was just incendiriously fabulous. Its that incredible rush you feel when you watch something so unexpected happen, and its just so damn awesome that for a split second you don't believe it, you don't know whether to gawk in disbelief, or jump for bloody joy as everyone else around you celebrates...I have not felt this excited in ages, its good to feel something real when most of the time, you're so deep in your own thoughts that you're numb to everything else around you.

Oh that rush oh that rush...we ran through the park PUMPED with excitement at 7 am while everyone else was falling asleep walking to work. It was even more ironic on the train; we were celebrating our team's win while no one else on the train knew the outcome, let alone what was going on.

And for me, its not so much which team you support, its sticking with the team be it win or lose that matters.

Next match, France will be my bitch. For sure.

Aaaah, holidays, FINALY

2006-07-03T18:23:00.000+08:00

Lately, these two malaysian companies have been having some sort of cyber spat, sending each other same rather vulgar emails and whatnots, of which for some reason have been coming into MY hotmail inbox. Its quite funny really, the last one reads:

From :
Sent : Sunday, July 2, 2006 9:51 AM
To : denis_noel@petronas.com.my, Toska Mineral & Resources Group
CC : Administrator@tm.net.my, customers3@nazartours.travel
Subject : Re: Re: [MailServer Notification]To Recipient file blocking settings matched

Inbox
bull shit U lah
So wat??
Bull shit lah cit bye

LOL!

2006-06-29T18:46:00.000+08:00

En ce moment, je suis tres stresse...mon devoir l'oral, je dois fait il a demain, mais je n'ai pas de fini. je suis un peu de timide que je vais perde mon courage et oublie tout de je sais.

Pour quoi je suis 'blogging' en francais? Je ne sais pas; peut-etre je suis essaie me plonger dans le langue francais que prépare pour demain.

blaaaaah.

TV is gay shit.

2006-06-27T17:13:00.000+08:00

Argh, I'm so depressed I just wana crawl into a hole and die.

You know that feeling, when you're told something you soooo don't wana hear, and you can't do anything to stop it because maybe you love/care about the person too much and so you let them talk and you just keep the hurt inside and your chest tightens up and you can't breathe and you lose your appetite and hold it all in because you're trying your damnest to avoid the heavy stuff?

Yeah, thats how I feel.

--------------------------------------------------------

I suppose I didn't tell you, I'm hosting a japanese exchange student for a week, and its not going well. I can't get along with her; she is quiet, incredibly mainstream, introverted, girly, unadventorous, loves mainstream pop music. Me, I'm opinionated, nonconformist, daring, will talk to anyone, and soooo annoyed at conformism that I shy away from anything close to it. In other words, this is driving me friggin crazy.

-------------------------------------------------------

I have friggin assignments to do, again. Sigh. And I'm trying to distract myself from thoughts of suicide so in the meantime, here are some lovely pix from saturday's Winter Magic in katoomba.

First up, the K Town crowd. There were people and people and people and people....

Kimmy knighting Sammy. The thought bubbles say it all.
Edit: I realised damn blogger won't allow the pix to go any bigger...click it!
=)

Wrong festival, guys.

I heart solar flare.

hahahahaha.

Like, my absolute FAVORITE photo.

I call it the hobo dance.

Narm and Mark, god knows what they were doing.

They were trying that jumping thing...

With Pip, who is one of the absolute coolest. Except that she went to Belle & Sebastian WITHOUT ME.

The Jekyll side of Mark with his yucky seafood chowder. He thinks his beard is cool. HAH.

Cool badgy shot.

Its so tempting to call em hippies, but really, its just good times with good music + dancing.

This guy was rockin the guitar AND the didgeridoo

Quickie in the alleyway.

And later that night was a party in some random girl's house. Take note: Drunk people + fucking cold weather = some crazy shit. L-R on this pic, me, dave, simone, luke, cameron.

I....

...Love....

....drunk....

...People! (especially when I'm not=D)

Sim and Dave, they're twins. This is a cool pic I guess, but..

THIS is way funnier!!!!!

Winter Magic 06 (was so much better than last year's)

2006-06-25T07:30:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps,

I thought I'd put in this entry right now since I'm in such a good mood...

Winter Magic was sooooo fucking awesome. All my favorite and the funnest (some rather oddball and left-of-centre) people were there...Narm, Sam(who dressed up as a medieval knight, complete with sword), Pip, Mark P (whom I dragged along to a teenage party, he was the only guy with a beard), Ness, Sim, Adi, Dave, Luke, Cam and the list goes on and on....

There was the most positive, happy, kickass vibe at the festival, and lets just ignore the fact that half the people were drunk off their faces..especially at the party later that night. It was all good though, the St Marys peeps were awesome. Drunk, but awesome. All that LOVE! The Strokes! PLACEBO! YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!

(In case you were wondering, no, I wasn't drunk...only had a vodka lime that Sam bought me in what I suspect was a sneaky gesture to throw me off before the pool game that never happened. I was, although, hyper and just as jumpy as everyone else after eating a whole pack of milky swirls. Mmmmm).

I took photos of everyone with a crappy disposable camera, shall scan em in and post em up here soon-ish.

Next year, just don't forget the pot, people.

Cultural Dyslexia (is not recommeded for national pride)

2006-06-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

So its world cup season, and everyone including yours truly is being swept along with the current. No matter how hard I try, I cannot NOT stay away from the television for one night, just to see who's playing who. I've been getting an average of about 5 hours sleep a night, not to mention the countless assignments, essays, and other school related work I have to do.

My biggest problem? Picking a team to support.

When I was a kid, England was the only way to go. Why, I don't know, probably due to my then-EPL obsession. I knew like, every player on Manchester United, and hated Arsenal's guts. That having been said, I'm still an avid Man U fan. Mind you, this was back when I had no idea being Korean-Chinese-Malaysian-Australian wasn't exactly normal.

Back to the point. Somewhere before the 2002 world cup, I discovered Brazilian soccer and consequantly fell for them like a ton of bricks. Brazil it was! Or so I thought.

My mother, with all her Korean patriotisism (despite having lived in Australia from the age of 17 and settling down in Malaysia 8 years later) put up a gigantic poster of Ahn-Jung Hwan, and as much as I resisted, all those damn "BE THE REDS!" Korean soccer shirts still abundant on the streets of Ampang/KL today, not to mention my still-prevalent but usually ignored desire to just fucking fit in somewhere, got to me. Brazil? Korea? England? God forbid, Malaysia?

And come this year, dear sweet Australia made it to Germany. Soccer experts say its because of Guus Hiddink (same dude who led Korea to the..what was it? quarter finals? semi? in 2002).....I say its John Safran and his African-chicken-sacrificing ritual. This, for me as a first-and-foremost Australian born citizen, means yet another country to add to my plate.

Not to mention during the Korea vs Togo match, I was in fact rooting for Togo...I absolutely MUST take into account that screw up in the beginning when they played Korea's national anthem when it was infact supposed to be Togo's, even if it was a slip up, HOW COULD THEY??Its the friggin WORLD CUP! The biggest event sporting event, like, ever! (screw the olympics.) And while it wasn't Korea's fault, imagine how the Togoans must've felt, preparing to sing their anthem with full gutso and instead hearing some other country's chanson.

So now its go Brazil! Aussie! Korea!

But really? Whatever man. Its all in the name of the love of soccer itself, the beautiful game with the ultimate power to both unite and divide the enitre universe, and ultimately inject some much needed love and wide-eyed optimism into the hearts of many-a-uninspired.

Je voudrais fait l'amour avec Toi

2006-06-11T07:35:00.001+08:00

Sigh.

This sucks.

I just found out the dancefloor tickets for Belle & Sebastian are sold out. BELLE & SEBASTIAN! If you don't know them, they're an alternative/power pop band with an everchanging line up. Their songs are infectiously melodious, with discreetly sinister undertones behind their lyrics....the perfect balance. I LOVE them, I tell you. Am completely, madly, truly, insanely, vehemently, violently in love with them.

And this time around not only are they playing in Newtown (cool hippie town near Sydney, albeit a bit too popular with hippie wanabes nowadays), but they've got a 12 piece line up guaranteed to kick ass.

The reason why attending this gig is so ridiculously important for all B & S fans is because while their stuff is great, they're very irratical in their album releases; who knows when they're gona come around again? What if they never make another album?? What if they never come down to Oz again?? What if *gasp* they never tour again...??!!

And its all my fault. I read the thingie wrongly, I thought it said the gig was for over 18's only, but turns out thats only for their Melbourne gig. I'm in Sydney. ARRRRRRGGGGH! *bangs head on keyboard*

I was gona go with Pip and some other year 12's from school, Pip whom I know through Sam because her sister went to school with him bla bla bla.

BUT, I guess I can take comfort in the fact that I went to see Ben Harper when all these other people who are big big fans didn't, and I am determined to drill it into everyone's heads that the Ben Harper gig kicked the B & S gig's ass by a million. Although that would be highly unlikely since they're both very different.

Siiiiigh.

I have so much school shit to do nowadays that I don't have time for anything else ie a social life, and therefore have nothing else to blog about. A recap of the things I did in the past month worth mentioning:-

Donated blood for the first time ever. I think I mentioned this already...I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but only when time actually came to insert the needle. It was kinda cool actually, watching that bag fill up with blood from my very own body. Will most definitely do it again.

Went for an Afromoses gig up in Katoomba...It was a Bob Marley tribute, lasted til 2 in the morning, and a whole lot of dancing and not so legal substances were involved. ORGASMIC. Nuff said.

Ate snails on an excursion with my french class to the Alliance de Francais and also a french restaraunt, the Little Snail in sydney. Let me repeat: I ate snails. The verdict? I actually liked it. They're like oysters, sans the mushy fishy taste. The only bad part of the whole trip was when, after much hesitation (I have an increasingly serious fear of heights), I stood on a high stool to get a picture with my fancy SLR camera of the whole table, only to have the psychopathic waiter "jokingly" rattle the stool rather violently as I screamed in terror. Read: Shaking a stool while someone is standing on it is NOT FUNNY. Some people are just plain fucking stupid.

Stalked hot uni guys in the UTS library in the city with Madi, Julie and Brittany, under the guise of doing "research" for our Society and Culture assignment. See? Even fun city trips are now tainted with schoolwork.

On the train home, Sam sent me a message. Turns out he was on the same train, and called me over to the carriage he was in for something I "won't want to miss"...there was a choir of angelic school kids singing songs like Catch a Falling Star and Tomorrow, and it was quite magical. I don't know what I found more beautiful: the kids singing, or the fact that a 24 year old guy is able to appreciate that.

Spent hours on photoshop making posters to create awareness of the school Amnesty International group...the school has over 900 students, with only about 10 of them members of Amnesty. You'd think because its a good school, the students would be a bit more compassionate and selfless. Talk heartbreaking.

And yesterday, I had a good cry. All this stress from everything around me and not being able to vent to anyone because no one seems to understand (not trying to be overdramatic and cliched here), and the one person who WOULD doesn't want to be there.

Mmm. I'm going with Narm for the Jazz Funk n Blues fest tonight, of which I thoroughly enjoyed last year as a date with you-know-who. Sigh.

Au revoir, my lovelies.

Je Vais Prendre Ta Douleur

2006-06-03T10:11:00.000+08:00

These past few days been incredibly taxing on my mental state of mind (is there such an expression?)...school has been the toughest thing to cope with I guess: I don't understand a thing in maths, something that I used to have great passion and ability in, and so I just don't go to class.

What more, our school reports are out and while most of the comments from my teachers are bearable, my english teacher wrote that I should consider dropping down to Standard English.

Me! Standard! AS IF!

Thing is, my english exam result was less than up to par...I got 65% which is way below my usual performance. BUT, I have a really good reason, which is that when I dropped Legal Studies and took up Visual Arts, I had to change all my classes and my new english class was studying a different text from my old one (new class did Othello, old class did Macbeth....both equally yawn-inducing), ergo my notes were all messed up, ergo I did not know what to write about during the exam, ergo I'm not bad at english, I was just confused.

But what it all comes down to in the end is that, I just don't care about english anymore. 2, 3 years ago I used to, and that was because I was incredibly lucky to have Malaysian playwright/theatre pioneer Chin San Sooi as my mentor; I can see now that his guidance, of which I took for granted back then, was in fact invaluable to my firm grasp of the english language especially in the written form, something I've prided myself over all my life.

But once one loses proper guidance and motivation, it is incredibly easy to lose interest and throw away all former inhabitations in the field. I can no longer write with the flowing, poetic ease I used to execute so effortlessly. And this doesn't just apply to english, but the same goes for my playing the piano as well. I havent had lessons in almost 2 years and my skills have not slightly waned so much as gone down the drain....more than 10 years of theory work and toiling away on the piano have amounted to nothing. For sure, I can still play well above average, but I haven't progressed noticably for the past 2 years, I have no direction, no discipline, no inspiration....

..I'm not even 17 yet, and I've already burnt out.

Fo sure, I don't mean to devalue my current focuses that are the school subjects I spend virtually all my time on. French, art and photography in particular require large amounts of time, effort and concentration to grasp, but at least I love it...the French language, while so similar to English in so many ways, is also so strikingly different, so much more sophisticated and exotic in comparison to the other languages I speak. But at the end of the day, there's nothing like a hard, solid skill you've acquired after years and years of hard work, and as you forlornly watch as it discreetly but surely slips through your fingers and out of your life, you can't help but hate yourself for not even putting in the slightest attempt to regain what was once everything important in your life.

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling

2006-05-29T16:56:00.000+08:00

That warm fuzzy feeling.

Its reading an article about a couple
from different backgrounds,
that defeated all odds
just for love

...it reminds you that love is much more than just a feeling.

Its watching a 16 year old girl
give her lunch to a homeless man

...it reminds you that not ALL kids are selfish spoilt brats.

That warm fuzzy feeling.
Its receiving an sms
from your ex boyfriend
telling you its all gona be ok

...and you can't help but want to believe him.

Its finding, amongst, a million boring articles
on the back wall of your french class
a simple postcard from 10 years ago
with endearments and simple messages of love
from your teacher to his wife

...I bet you never thought teachers were sentimental humans too.

Oh, that warm fuzzy feeling.
Its giving your own blood
to people who need it the most
for the first time in your life
feeling incredibly proud of yourself

as you watch the 3mm thick needle
pierce your left arm
(even though the nurse told you not to look)
watching as a river of blood
fills the bag
and you remember, to your dismay
the joints you smoked
2 weeks ago
pondering the fact that
you may killed someone
instead of saving a life (as you should have)

and THEN
getting that inevitable feeling of wooziness
after you didn't take food with sugar
(as the nurse told you to)
and feeling crazy sick
on the bus ride home

....it teaches you: donate blood out of 100% goodwill, not cos Homer got high on that episode of The Simpsons when he gave his.

Picasso Schmicasso

2006-05-22T08:31:00.000+08:00

Tuesday night was Ben Harper at the Sydney Entertainment Centre, and it was...awesome beyond awesome. Incredible, I tell you...anyone who's not into Ben should get into him.

People like to say that Ben Harper's music is too simple, that his chords are so basic and that anyone can do that, but then again is there not beauty in simplicity? And it takes alot of integrity to be able to pull off making such simple lyrics and melodies into these amazingly deep songs.

Anyway, for all you artsy fartsos out there...take a look at this

So cool ei? No, I didnt do it. Check out www.watim.com for more amazing aussie artwork.

Anyway, back to my 2345065396 essays about the many phases of picasso. You chose this over law, Kim, you chose this.....*sigh*

2006-05-12T07:15:00.000+08:00

Internet at home's down again, yadda yadda yadda.

A gazillion assignments to do, hardly anytime to do anything else.

BUT!

My social life is flourishing. HAH!

Nicole's birthday movie on saturday afternoon, then at night its off to Katoomba to catch an Afromoses gig with Sam and friends.

Then on Tuesday, none other than the great Ben Harper plays at Sydney Entertainment Centre and yours truly shall be attending with Narm.

Can I get a HELL YEAH?!

And THEN, on friday, Adi is holding one of those murder mystery parties and there's no way on earth i'm missing out on one of those.

How EXCITING.

Anyway, no time to say anything else. Writing a 400 word review on the Great Gatsby. Traa.

OH yeah, my birthday is coming soon.

JUNE 21ST! DON'T forget.

Mum

2006-04-29T13:51:00.000+08:00

Today is Saturday. Yesterday was my dear mother's birthday, 45 going on 21. But thats not what I wana talk about right now.

I just got a haircut, and I'm in the library to write about this. Haircuts are extremely emotional experiences for me; 95% of the time I hate the result, and, most of the times, I cry. No joke. Anyone who's ever been for a haircut with me will know the heartache and sorrow I go through as I carefully examine the damage done. Why can't hairdressers just fucking cut your hair the way you tell them to?! When I get mad at people, I usually just take a deep breath and let it go, but no, not those damn hairdressers.

Anyway, this time around was no different. I chose to get it cut at this particular salon because 1. Nina and Donelle got their's cut their, and they liked it; and 2. It was $17, the cheapest price around.

I told them to just TRIM it, and make it just a bit layered and to make it look natural.

I told them I didn't want more that 2 inches off.

I told them that I just wanted my fringe cut a tiny bit, like 3 milimeteres and no more.

And I TOLD them that I was extremely nervous after the last 2 previous haircuts I got, I cried a bucket so please please don't mess this up.

But for some reason, hairdressers never listen to what you tell them to. Yep, those scissor wielding incompetents didn't listen. They made those really choppy layers I hate, and cut off like 3 inches of it. Why, WHY would anyone want choppy layers? Is it to any degree cool or attractive to have your hair looking like the local butcher just randomly hacked his hair through it?

Aaaaaargh.

I know, I know, I've been really whiny lately, for reasons I can't or more accurrately am not yet ready to blog about. Blaah. Thats how I feel right now. And its moments like these, when I can't help but miss my mum even though I shouldn't, because hey, this was my choice, I saw the negatives that were to come with it but did it anyway.

Today is Saturday. Yesterday was my dear mum's birthday, my mum who, in my eyes will forever be the same woman I saw when I was 7, the strong, kind, incredibly generous woman I admired and looked up to since I was a baby.

Mum, I love you.

2006-04-26T09:00:00.000+08:00

So its the second week of term break, and I'm happily wasting away in Orient Point near Nowra aka Land of the Inbreds, cos I'm visiting my grandparents. While the people here are quite strange looking and somewhat mentally needy, the scenery here is quite the opposite: completely and utterly beautiful...my grandparents' backyard is full of these rare pretty flowers, the spaces are wide open, the sky is clear, and what more, its a 2 minute walk from the sea. Great way to retire, no? I WOULD put up some pictures, but.....

I DIDN'T BRING THE DAMN CAMERA.

I say didn't, because I DID think about it, but decided, pah, its nowra, everyone's inbred and funny looking anyway, no point in bringing the camera. And now I kick myself repeatedly everytime I drive by something that would look awesome in a photo, which is pretty much every 10 seconds.

Oh well, you live and you learn.

-------------------------------------------------

Being in a good school with new friends is an incredibly exciting thing, especially when you know for a fact that, even though a big lump of them are fluffy and pretentious, you'll (almost) always be sure to find good conversation and people you get along with.

ok, i'm being really loong winded but my point is, we've been planning what to do after we finally finish and graduate next year, and before hitting uni....we're gonna do the whole backpack around the world thing. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR.

!!!!!!!!!

omg omg omg...how exciting is that?? we've even got it planned out where we wana go....We're gona spend more time in South America, Africa and Asia, and maybe just a lil time in Europe and US since thats where most people go. We're also gona go to all the island places on the Carribean, and also Samoa and Tonga and all that. *screams with excitement*

ahem. If you're wondering what happened to brazil...well, I've decided that I'm gona use the money to get a car instead.

Brazil can wait, finally not having to depend on public transport just can't.

ps. excuse the crappy posts. the holidays kinda screwed with my head.

Random Thoughts

2006-04-17T16:19:00.000+08:00

A million apologies to all three of my readers for not blogging this past week; I've tried, but my mind just wanders to other things all the time. So here's some random stuff off the top of my head for ya:

Recently, I've been trying to go vegetarian which, by the way, is incredibly hard for someone who ate almost nothing but meat the first 12 years of her life. So today when I went for a much delayed brunch-turned-coffee-turned-lunch with Sam (oh yes, I am oh so casualy mentioning that), I tried a Vegetarian Houlimi something-something-fancy-arse-name. Unfortunately though, the contents of the meal wasnt nearly as sophisticated as it sounded, consisting of only grilled cherry tomatoes, pita bread, green leafy vegetables, and......Vegetarian Cheese.

Can I get a WTF?

Now kiddies, I don't care what the vegans/greenies say about how horrible dairy products ie cheese and milk are...Vegetarian cheese is just plain wrong. It tastes like super salty crap, not unlike chewing on a salted rubber shoe sole. Not only that, but it is also completely devoid of the essence of cheese, and what makes cheese the great yummy fattening stuff that it is: the dairy milk. Its like eating curry without coconut milk, or even worse, vegetarian T-bone steak. Completely and utterly pointless. So I ended up slaving my way through the meal, and letting Sam eat the rest of the cheese. That freak.

Sidenote: Seeing someone you care a crazy amount about (who doesn't seem to want to care half as much) for the first time in months, and realising you can never be mad at them no matter what stupid way they've treated you, because you've given in to the fact that you have (and don't want) any power whatsoever over the person and the relationship, is not a very calming feeling. Your face will flush, and then you will feel sick to the stomache the remainder of the time, and when you try to keep your cool you just seem antisocial/distracted.

--------------------------------------------

Ever realised how the lyrics for rock-a-by baby are pretty evil, what with the baby falling off the tree in the end and all?

Rock a by baby, On the tree top

When the wind blows , the cradle will rock

When the bough breaks, The cradle will fall

And down will come baby, Cradle and all

How sneaky, hiding such a sinister story behind a sweet melodious lullaby. I bet THAT would make you think twice before singing this to babies again.

Maybe we should alert the censorship board.

--------------------------------------------------

For once, I'm bloody thankful for all the workload from school. It gives me something big yet not so important to whine about, and keeps me distracted from my real problems.

Oooh, denial is such a great thing.

2006-04-12T07:16:00.000+08:00

Wtf wei.

I just washed the right side of my honey coloured contact lens down the sink.

!!!!

This holiday is off to a GREAT start.

...And then I realised I'm not as smart as they told me.

2006-04-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

Before I proceed, I shall make known that this is gona be one of those What Incredibly Blonde and Stupid Thing Did Kim Do This Time posts, and this one in particular, is a film photographer's absolute WORST nightmare.

As I was saying.

This morning, I was 10 minutes late for my Society & Culture exam and missed out on a question worth 6 marks, because I was craving a latte like hell and just had to go get one. I SWEAR I did NOT know it started at 8.20. It WAS, however, extreeeemmmeely satisfying to breeze in late, latte in hand and all, and pissing off the teachers with my blissful ignorance of the fact that I should have ben there ten minutes ago.

But nevermind. I don't give a shit, because its Year 11, and I don't have to do well for nuts.........

Then came the dumb part.

Because I am so cool and smart and hot and stuff, I was allowed to take home a professional cam from school to use over the 3 or so weeks of holidays I've got coming up. I spent the rest of the day, merrily taking bloody kick ass shots of everything from bees to cats to old ladies to Nina to shoes (especially taking advantage of the light in the library coming from the sunset), only to find out, AFTER I had so painstakenly taking the best photos of my life, being nice to old ladies and doing ebroidery with them (which took them 2 years btw, and they're nowhere near finished), did I realise I DID NOT LOAD THE FUCKING FILM IN THE CAMERA PROPERLY, AND NOT A SINGLE PHOTO WAS ACTUALLY TAKEN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!

*bangs head against keyboard*

If I had a wall in front of me, I would've banged my head against it. Thankfully, the nice people at the photo shop I go to all the time are, by now, used to what a retard I can be, and fixed the film for me.

But still...

...no photos. And my heart just breaks a bit more everytime I think about it.

=(((((

2006-04-10T15:39:00.000+08:00

Like, oh my god. Oh my god oh my god!

GUESS WHAT.

....The world spins again!

*squeals*

Today right, I was like, walking through the plaza with Adi (she's cool because she reads Frankie magazine...I felt like I was the only person in the whole school, let alone this part of the country that reads it) and Emma and stuff, and we like went into that Dotti shop right, and I like, saw like, this scarf that like looked JUST like the scarf that I lost. For $15.95!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okok...cut the bimbo talk already. But allow me to repeat, it looked JUST like it. AND, it was the LAST one left, just like the one I got from Portmans!

Did I buy it? Fuck yeah. The saleslady had to climb up to the display to get it and everything. The point is, I HAVE A COOL SCARF AGAIN, and I'm, errr, whole and complete again.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Last week and this week, we've been having half yearly exams. As to why we're having half yearly exams in april is a whole other story altogher, and delving into it would be just boring and technical.

Now let me remind you, St Marys Senior is a selective school, and its pretty competitive and unlike my previous school, I'm not the only person who has brains. However, thankfully my subjects are rather bludgy, ie Visual Arts and Photography, and I'm pretty good at them, so I only had 4 exams as opposed to the 6-7 most people have, and they are....

English (Advanced) on Wednesday. It was SHIT. I'm not even being modest here, I did so badly I'll probably fail it. Note: I've never failed anything my life, or even come close to.
Mathematics (Advanced) on Thursday....This one was good, but could've been better. I went in, brimming with confidence after having done all the past papers and completing them in half the exam time...only to spend so much time on algebra fucking algebra (I am horrible at it) that I missed out on several trigonometry questions. and I LOVE trigonometry...I don't care if this qualifies me as a geek. Repeat after me: Trig is THE SHIT.
French beginners, and that was today. I love languages, full stop. After speaking 4 all my life and trying to learn bits of others along the way, I'm gonna blow some smoke up my own arse and say that I'm pretty good at picking em up.
Society and Culture tomorrow. Its the last one. AND the hardest, but the most intriguing. Its like this kick ass blend of psychology, sociology and pop culture.

And so I'm off to study now...its so good to have so much school shit to do, because that way, I don't have time to stress about anything else. And gosh I have so fucking much to stress about. Adieu.

Forever for it, is over for me.

2006-04-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

They say that letting go of a lost love, no matter how hard and traumatic the loss, how deep and profound the love, is the most essential key to moving on with your life, and opening up new doors.

Today, I decided to let go. But before that, here's one last ode.

I'll never forget the day I first saw you. I saw you first, and the moment I laid eyes on you, I was speechless, and I would never be the same.

You were beautiful.

The chemistry between us, before we'd even touched, was electrifying; all I wanted was you...you're all I thought about, you're all I craved for. I just HAD to have you.

And the first time we touched, it was.... heaven. Beyond heaven. From that moment, I knew you were IT. The One. That special, one and only godsent soulmate that no other could take the place of. Everywhere I went, you were there with me. We stuck together like glue, and it was obvious from the jealous glances from everyone who saw us, that we were special. Looking back, I don't know how I would've made it without you. You kept me warm. You gave me strength. I only had to look at you to remember that I had something to live for, that would never let me down.

But that dreadful day, fate tore us apart. I gambled my chances, did everything I could to get you back, but alas, it was not meant to be. Destiny had made its decision, and nothing I did, no matter how much I mourned, how many tears I cried, I knew deep down, that I could never get you back.

Defeated, I gave in and accepted that what was to be, was to be. But nothing can ever replace the place you held in my heart; you were The One, and nothing could even begin to fill the emptiness of the gaping hole you've left in my life...things will never be the same. And so, a picture of rememberance, of our happier times together.

Oh how I will miss you, my one and only stripey black and white scarf from Portmans, $24.95 RRP. You will be in my heart, forever.

Geez...what did you think I was talking about?!

=DDDDDD

2006-03-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

I just read Diana's post priorities, and I must say I know how that feels. I just wish I had the self control and time to go out and make things happen for myself, but I don't.

I never thought I would say this but...Year 11 is so bloody hard.

Ok well, maybe hard is not the word, its more like there's a stupid crazy amount of work to do. Thank goodness I'm loving everything. Math, especially.

Cos there's always a right answer, you're either right or wrong, no in between, nothing's left to a matter of opinion or whether the teacher likes you or not. ( For the record, my math teacher is like, the coolest.)

The only subject I absolutely despise is English. Yep, english, the one subject I used to love to death, that I couldn't get enough of, immensing myself in all that literature, just reading reading reading everything..Shakespeare, the Brontes, William Butler Yeats, bla bla bla...Now I just fucking hate it. Granted, I read alot, but I try not to pick up books on the bestsellers lists, books that everyone and their mother's read, simply because in the end its all the same. Read: I HATE MAINSTREAM LITERATURE.

I hate reading it, I hate watching movies based on it, I hate having to then read it over and over and over again studying every single aspect of it, analysing the techniques used, how it conveys the notion of conflict bla bla bla bla I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. Fuck, I'm not even doing so well. I got 8 out of 15 for my first assignment, with the comments, "Kimberley, you do write well, but you're only dealing with the text in a superficial way."

Why thank you very much miss, I don't exactly enjoy 5 weeks of english lessons dissecting the text of Macbeth, its friggin 500 years old, who cares anymore? I don't understand all that gibberish and its a stupid story anyway.

On top of all that, I'm so fucking stressed about everything, about the fact that I'm gona have to choose between going to Brazil and getting my own car, about the fact that I've lost my aussie passport AND my license logbook so both options are pretty pointless anyway, about the fact that I'm annoying the shit out of myself for being so emo about that motherfucker.

And I'm getting so annoyed at all the kids at St Marys even though I'm trying my damndest to be nice. There's just such a strong stereotype of kids who dress the same, have the same hair, talk in the same affected American try hard accent with their superficial "like oh my god we have the same bag!!!! you're my best friend!!!! Sorry whats your name again...?" attitudes, when deep down everyone's so damn competitive because its a selective school and we're only here for a short while. I'm not even gona pose the question as to WHY they're like that because I know the answer already : everyone is so bloody insecure and wants to look and feel popular and so they conform to the stupidest things.

Gosh, I'm so glad that I figured all that out already ages ago. I may be stressed out about school, fucked up from a relationship that was doomed from the start anyway, but at least I'm happy with myself, I know who I am and I know that I don't have to be just like the people around me to be accepted.

At least I have that.

2006-03-19T16:12:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, I know I've been a very bad blogger and haven't been updating much, but I have good reasons.

I've been sick with the flu.

I went dancing on wednesday night.

I've been sick with the flu because I went dancing on wednesday night.

Nolah, I didn't sneak into a club (aussie clubs are super strict, I dare not try), this was at the school disco.

Yes, I kicked ass.

The day after was baaad though, I was coughing, sneezing, sniffling, limping and my back ached like crazy to the point where I couldnt even sit down properly.

Damn the 'Lean Back' song.

The limping bit was cool though, because I felt like House and as we all know, House is THE SHIT.

Anywho, I was so sick I couldnt even go to school on friday. But come saturday night, it was Maddy's birthday party in Glenbrook, up in the mountains, and I was all revved up and ready to go. Oh and, there was a shisha. That belonged to this really cute guy that happens to be friends with steven (whom I dragged along as Designated Driver).

Nuff said.

And since I have a gazillion assignments to get done and have already maxed my brain out to the point of not being able to think of anything clever to say, I'll leave you with the Most Played list on my mp3.

Sunshowers - M.I.A (people, check her out. She's british via Sri Lanka, and has the awesomest beats, ever. Other kickass songs: Bucky Done Gun, Pull up the People.)
Silent Fortress - Pinback
Lovers in the Backseat - Scissor Sisters
A Certain Kind of Romance - The Arctic Monkeys (thanks karen)
I bet you look good on the dancefloor - the Arctic Monkeys
Gold Lion - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs (NEW ALBUM!!!!!!!)
Two More Years - Bloc Party
True - Black Eyed Peas
Ride With Me - Nelly
Ooh La la - Goldfrapp
Solitude - Evanesence
Here Comes the Sun - Ben Harper
Better Way - Ben Harper (latest single, its John Lennon-ish in a way)
Forever Young - Youth Group
Those to Come - The Shins
Heard em Say - Kanye West
Steady as she Goes - The Raconteurs (Jack White's new band. Thats right, THE jack white has a new band. I wasn't too happy about that at first, but the song's pretty darn good, mmhmm.)
You don't have to go - Led Zeppelin (yes, i know this song has been on every list i've put up, but its just one of those songs you can never get sick of. no?)

So yeah, there's some old stuff for you to hang on to, some new stuff to go download. Its music. Its all good. =)

Because everyone loves an itemised post.

Miracle drug

2006-03-12T18:36:00.000+08:00

Of science and the human heart

There is no limit

There is no failure here sweetheart

Just when you quit

Love and logic keep us clear

Reason is on our side, love...

The songs are in your eyes

I see them when you smile

I've had enough of romantic love

I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up

For a miracle, a miracle drug.

Beneath the noise

Below the din

I hear a voice

It's whispering

In science and in medicine

"I was a stranger

You took me in"

-Miracle drug, U2

Lately, I've been seriously considering going to Brazil, or somewhere in South America for an exchange student thingie for perhaps half a year or 3 months.

Yep, you read me right...Brazil. Land of cool crazy soccer, hot bods, Capoera, and beaches beaches beaches. Mmmmmm.

BRAZIL.

B-R-A-Z-I-L.

Yes, I really really want to go to Brazil.

Why? I need to get away. I'm so fucking sick of this...sick of feeling sorry for myself, sick of this heavy weight in my heart, sick of crying over something so ridiculous and someone so worthless, sick of thinking about it every fucking second. And I can't stop thinking about it if I stick around here.

Only problem is, its damn expensive, something like AUD 8,000...thats about RM 24, 000.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy? Damn straight, but I really must do this for my own good and sanity.

And if you're gona tell me that doing this is just running away from my problems, well then I guess you're right. I AM running away. I'm the weaker and powerless one in this, what else can I do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Went with Sarah to Norton Street in Leichhart aka little italy today. Was supposed to watch the french movie "Story of my Life" or something like that, but ended up getting lost and eating yummy italian food instead. We met this very interesting guy on the train; like myself, he's a mish-mash of different cultures, but even more extreme: He's of chinese blood but comes from Mauritius and speaks French and African first and foremost, and so he speaks english with a french accent. Isn't that so damn quirky?

I love talking with people like Sarah, because we're on the same level and can relate about things, without compromising our respectives opinions.

So yes, more french movies, more pool, and 3 months of Brazil should fix me up just right.

The Right Thing

2006-03-11T10:20:00.000+08:00

Tell me, people, what IS the right thing?

Why do they call it so?

Just because its morally, ethically, conformistically right, does not mean its the right thing to do. On one hand, we have our conscience, that tells us that all people are, really, human deep down, and that every conflict can be resolved through calm and rational, up front talk. No need for verocious insults or sarcastic comments. On the other hand, we have our hard, solid brains that tell us to go straight for where it hurts the most in order to make things right, because some people are just PLAIN SELFISH AND IMMATURE, and not worth the verbal formalities.

Now, I'm an extremely tolerant person. Alot of the people around me are motherfuckers, but I am nice to them anyway most of the time, not because I am stupid and cannot see that they're trying to take advantage of a sweet and courteous young woman, but because I know that its so much better in the long run to grin and bear, rather than to sink to their level. That way, its their loss, my gain.

But some people, a small miniscule part of society, don't deserve to be treated nicely by others, not even those who feel sorry for them because they work on weekends not because they are in dire need of the cash like myself, but because they choose to, as they have no friends and no life and wouldn't have anything better to do anyway.

I'm talking about doing the so-called 'right' thing here, when you already know the end result, and it isn't pretty. This is between, a certain workmate of mine, and me, and on my side is probably the hordes of customer's she's offended with her rudeness.

...I don't know why I even bothered talking nicely to her.

I knew she would get worked up.

I knew she would walk away, and rat me off to everyone else. Not that I care, its up to them to believe what they know is the truth.

I knew that, before she walked off, she would reply with a big, sarcastic, "I'm SORRY, then," and leave me feeling like shit, even though I knew I'd done the right thing.

Why? Why the fuck did I even bother trying to talk it out with her? A twenty year old acting like an prepubescent 12 year old brat is just fucking ridiculous and undeserving of any respect whatsoever. And now, I'm the one left feeling like the idiot, all because I listened to everyone else and 'did the right thing'.

I guess sometimes you gotta skip all first steps and go with what you know is gona result in something positive. Its a tremendously crappy feeling, knowing you've done the right thing, yet you just can't win. Just because its what everyone says is the right thing, doesn't necessarily mean its the best.

The right thing. Pffffffft.

Transit officers and other little shits.

2006-03-07T13:21:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, I am in the penrith library, and there is this really weird guy with a mullet next to me staring at commodores (the cars) and vocally narrating every single one of his thoughts out loud. But that is not what I want to write about today.

I'm not an angry person. Really.

I am calm, collected, easy going, friendly, and I am a lover not a fighter. Ask anyone.

But we live in a ridiculous world today, a world where people don't understand the meaning of queueing up, where, even though you have your student ID, school books, everything, you need a stupid yellow card that doesn't get distributed until April anyway to pay a student fair for public transport.

Indeed, some things just piss the hell out of me, and when I get angry about things, I absolutely must rant about it.

Now, we all know about those infamous transit officers, those policemen-wannabes who walk around trains in their grey uniforms and belts full of fake guns and fake walkie talkies and other fake, important looking things, disturbing the peace on trains whenever they feel like it, just because they have nothing better to do.

As you can see, transit officers and I don't gel very well.

This morning, I got into a fight with one at the train station, who wanted to fine me for not having a rail pass (I hadn't collected mine yet, because the damn school office is always closed whenever I go).

Walking through the side gate, a transit officer with a weird nose blocked my way, asking for my train pass. I calmly (and very sweetly) took out my student ID which had my photo and name on it, to show that I was a student at St Marys. He wanted to see my rail pass.

I, once again very calmly, explained that I hadn't recieved my rail pass yet, but would very soon, and duly took out my driver's license, showing him my address to prove that I had to take a train to school. Not good enough, he says. Must have rail pass. No rail pass, will be fined.

This is when I started to get a bit edgy, as obviously I was just a poor student going to school, not some crazed drunk who didn't buy his ticket, dressing up as a student and taking advantage of the school rush hour. I explained this to him. But still not good enough, must have rail pass.

"I can fine you for travelling without a proper rail pass, yesterday was the last day for free travel..."

"Why would you do that? If I wanted to go somewhere for fun, I would've bought a ticket."

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen. And I'm late for school."

"You can be fined, you know."

Yes, you dumb assfuck, you only told me that about 184967574 times.

"Dude, how much proof do you need? I'm a student going to school. STUDENT." I pronounced the last word very slowly and loudly, in case he did not understand.

Further arguement ensued, and I attempted not to raise my voice. Assfuck proceeded to blab on about fines once again, completely oblivious to the fact that he was annoying the shit out of me.

"Ok. Fine me then. Fine a sixteen year old student trying to get to school, just because you have nothing better to do."

Assfuck gets offended. Assfuck puts on voice of authority, or at least a sad attempt of it.

"Look, I'll let you off this time, but if I catch you travelling without a ticket again, bla bla bla fine bla bla bla bla 200 dollars bla bla bla bla I have no balls bla bla bla."

Sorry, what was that? I was too busy staring at your ugly nose, and that weird growth right next to it. You should seriously get that checked.

I walked away, rolling my eyes as I walked pass him. Assfuck.

I'm not an angry person. Really.

And they say.

2006-03-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

Serious, reflective, self-judgemental post ahead.

Applaud me, I'm single again. Oh didn't I tell you? I was seeing Leon. And, someone else before that. Yes, Kimmy's been having quite a bumbling love life so far this year. Sadly, none of these sad, sorry excuses for relationships lasted, simply because its impossible to force yourself to love a person, when your heart is still elsewhere. And I slap myself for getting into these things, knowing they would all turn out badly but going ahead anyway just for the sake of it.

I'm sleepy. Tired. Missed out on Mardi Gras once again, because of my stupid stupid memory. I've been incredibly emo once again this week and the last, boohooing about my hurt and what not...I know, I know, its getting old, even I've gotten sick of myself.

Just got back from work, though about it, seriously contemplating finding another job. Why? My heart's just not into it anymore... not that waitressing ever required much of it, but I don't do it for the same reasons with which i started.

I chose to be a waitress in a thai restaraunt, because I wanted to meet people, because I wanted to learn a new language, because I wanted to have some sort of responsibility....and most importantly, because I wanted to distance myself from the way alot of people percieved me, as this spoilt rich girl who's never had to work hard for anything.

Funny thing is, even now, even the people whom I work with percieve me as this spoilt rich girl, who's never had to work hard for anything. Sigh.

Its just...its all getting old. The fake smiles, pretending to be bloody joyous everytime a new customer comes, knowing already what you're gona say to people before you even go up to them, taking crap from people who think you're a dumb bimbo just because you're a waitress...there's no more real human interaction, everything's done on autopilot now. Especially since I'm working on the weekends, when it gets so busy that I have no time whatsoever to say anything more than a "hello and what can I get you" to people. And soon, it'll become just another boring job, no different from typing crap you don't care about in a 9 to 5 office job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not one to be jealous, but I am incredibly envious of this certain type of people: People who know what they want, who have set interests and goals, and know what they want to do with they're life. Although I've been telling people I wana be a journalist/PR person/photographer, truthbetold I have no idea whatsoever of what I want to do. Which is why I have quite a random choice of subjects in school, and half of which i dislike doing, ie Legal studies and math. I fucking hate going to those two classes, and only do so because my mum told me to, and because I'm good at them.

I'm sure you all know that just because you're good at something, doesn't really mean you like it. I'm blessed with the ability to be bloody good at anything I put even the most miniscule amount of effort into, simply due to the fact that I absolutely LOVE proving to people that I can do this, I can do that. Stupidly enough, as a result, I've been aimlessly wandering from phase to phase all my life, never sticking to one specific focus. When I went back to malaysia, my room, I looked at all these things that reminded me of my old world ...dance shoes...tennis racquets....piano books...taekwondo uniforms...paintbrushes...I've tried everything, yet nothing interests me long enough for me to stick with.

Read: I REALLY REALLY NEED SOME DIRECTION IN MY LIFE.

No more boys,
Get a new job
Focus on school, Kim, F-O-C-U-S

I tell myself.

Funnily enough, its the exact same thing I planned for last year, and look how that turned out. I don't know whats more daunting, the thrill of not knowing what comes next, or the dread of the possibility of the same old problems, yet to come.

And it just makes you question the volume of truth the old saying holds, the one about how we are all the true makers of our futures, when so much can go so wrong.

2006-02-28T17:46:00.000+08:00

This week's been going so good, and its only Tuesday.

Yesterday, despite the fact that I totally fucked up my thumb when a volleyball landed on it, I realy couldn't give a shit. Why?

I MADE IT ON THE SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL TEAM!!!!

Damn straight motherfuckers! Kimberley Low Jean Hee made it on a sports team!

Oh oh, and I feel like such a big girl now. I got to play grown up uni student for all of 2 hours, tagged along with Steven for an industrial graphics lecture at the university of western sydney. Not only did I find it pretty interesting even though it was only an introductory one, but I also got such a great kick out of being somewhere I shouldn't. And industrial design is quite a cool course, I reckon I would do well in it. I have learnt that:-

you can create a 3d, 100% real looking car with a programme called Rhino, just like in the ads, complete with transparent windows and lighting and all, and
Some Uni guys are just so damn HOT. =D

hmmm, potential uni subject choice, perhaps?

And last but not least, we FINALLY learnt to develop the pix we took in photography!! I'm so proud of it, old school black and white and all.

Hehehe, kinky korner. I'm soooo proud of it, didn't do any editing or anything, and it was done the old fashioned, develop-your-film-in-a-darkroom-with-red-lights way. We'll be developing more tomorrow, and I'll put em up here.

Little yellow squares

2006-02-25T12:20:00.000+08:00

The Driver's Knowledge Test is the test people have to sit for when applying for their Learner's license here in New South Wales, Australia. There are 45 questions involved, and while there is no time limit, you are only allowed to get so many wrong in certain sections and let me tell you, it ain't easy. But when you see all your friends (especially those dumber than you) going for the test and passing it, it gives you the determination to blindly ignore the fact that you've failed the test every single time you tried the practice one on the internet, and spend one third of your weekly wages on a test you're not too sure you'll pass.

Last Thursday, Steven took me all the way to the RTA after school, through the pouring rain, only to be told I couldn't take the test cos I didnt have some stupid bank statement.

This Wednesday, tried again, my bank statement in hand, with Steven chaperoning once more, and they let me sit for the test. It was bloody 33 AUD!!! But I thought, hey, I'm here, I'm determined, I shall sit for the damn test, even if it means I'll go broke for the rest of the week. Well, I sat for it, and...I failed. Yep, I got Dux of the school, yet I couldn't even pass a test most high school droppouts ace. Good on ya, smartie.

But nevermind. One little failure wasn't gona get in my way. After all, I'm Kim, and I'm blessed (perhaps cursed) with the belief (perhaps illusion) that I can do anything, have anything I set my mind to. And so, once again, I went to the RTA after school (taxi this time, too embarassed to ask for steven's help, and I think he was getting fed up too), sat for the test, and........I passed! I got my license! I no longer have to freak out while driving around the supermarket at nights, practicing reverse parking everytime I see another car!!

Man, that feeling, that rush when I passed the damn test and was given the yellow square plates for the car...I felt LIBERATED, I just wanted to jump around and scream for joy and hug everyone around me, if it weren't for the fact that I had gone there alone and would've look pretty darn idiotic had I physically expressed said feelings of joy and liberation.

Heck, I was so happy I didn't mind the fact that my photo on my license turned out shitty, that my signature was lopsided, that I didn't have enough money for a taxi back to High Street for work. I walked out, excitement radiating like a nuclear wave, and happily started the 40 minute hike to work; I hadn't felt that rush in a long, long time after 3 months of feeling so numb...It was awesome. =)

When Elitism becomes a trend

2006-02-21T17:35:00.000+08:00

Argh. What is wrong with the youth of today?

Lately, I've noticed more and more young people, especially girls my age, who've started following this awful trend of complaining about being disillusioned with how horrible/bland/tasteless todays music is, people my age who kick and scream and yearn for the good ol days, comparing todays' music to the great bands of yesteryear, a time when they were in fact not even born yet.

I say to the elitist tryhards: stop whining, and start listening. There's just as much great music today as there was 30 years ago, you people are just not listening hard enough. Arcade Fire. The Shins. Bloc Party. Mars Volta. White Stripes. The white fucking stripes, goddamit, are fucking GOLD. Do you know how respected they will be in 20 years? For fucks' sake, commercial radio counts for nuts; thats where all the crap you're complaining about comes from. Try a little harder. Listen to alternative stations. Read magazines like Rolling Stone and Q. Poke around cd shops. Listen to the stuff played by DJs like Twilight Action Girl. Read blogs. Goddamit, you think they played great bands like the Clash or Led Zeppelin all over the radio and shoved it in everyone's faces? Ok well, perhaps they did, but thats not my point. My point is, there's alot of great stuff out there thats not necessarily right in front of you.

I mean, sure, today's music doesn't sound the same, but then again thats what music is: a constantly evolving medium that moves with the times. Just because its new and fresh, doesn't mean its not credible. In fact, its all the more exciting and delightful when you discover a new band that plays awesome music that no one's ever heard of, because, THEN, then you know its a bona fide band that you can proudly say you like, its presented to you up on a pedestal, not just because its cool to like them, not just because the cool musicians like em.

All I'm saying is, give today's music a shot. Hunt around. You'll be amazed with what you find. If you couldn't be bothered to give it a try, well, your loss. You're probably listening to what you listen to for all the wrong reasons anyway.

2006-02-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

Aloha people, just a quick update this time. I'm at my old haunt, the library...yep, the internet at home has decided to go kaput on me once again, and this time, its even decided to take my laptop along with it. So yeah, no internet, no laptop = no photos and music for kim = kim is not happy. mmhmm.

What more, I haven't gotten my L's!! Yet. But this time, its not due to lack of trying on my part... Steven was nice enough to take me all the way to the RTA, even though the rain was pouring down like crazy. The damn road people wouldn't take my bus pass as proof of address (even though my name and address were CLEARLY printed on it), and said I needed a bank statement or something. Steven said thought it was bloody ridiculous as well, and as a result of my distress, we (rather audibly) concluded that they were being racist because they think all asians are bad drivers. Damn road people...I could've been driving by now. ish ish.

School's been great, apart from the whole no uniform thing; I can't find enough black/white/green/grey clothes, since mine are mostly purple/brown/red/jeans. I've also gotten in trouble 3 times this week...yeah, I'm turning into a baaaad ass now. *sniggers* No, really, everyone else is just super obedient/hardworking, compared to me. And also the fact that I don't do homework contributes too I guess.

The best thing about its been photography and french classes. French is so damn fun since I learnt most of it in ICLS 2 years ago...not only am I kicking arse, I'm whacking and punching the shit out of it too. I'm also kicking arse in math, but thats another story, since I hate the subject anyway.

In photography today, we took our first 12 photos on black and white film...I never thought taking photos with an old school SLR camera would be so complicated; you gota make sure the exposure, the arpeture, the shutter speed, the ISO speed, the light meter, the bla bla bla, everything's gota be right, or you photo comes up shitty.

How was your valentine's day? Mine was nice, I got a flower, and a hand-made card came in the mail via express post from Leon, along with a little ceramic frog. All together now: Aaaaaaaaaaw. I had to work that night but it was worthit; the restaraunt looked soooo different with the decorations and split tables, and seeing all those couples together so in love was oh so beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye and made me believe in everlasting love all over again.

Pfffft.

Honestly? Valentine's night was the craziest night at the restaruant, period. There were sooooo many people, it took half an hour just for the entrees to come out, and there were so many orders that we had to sticky tape them to the wall. The restaraunt made alot of money that night. ALOT. But it was worthit; I talked to this realy cool couple, and the guy (who was so damn hot but oh so taken) gave me a bottle of beer for being such a cool ass waitress. Heeehehehhe. =D

Speaking of which, I'm off to work, was gona bitch about this incident in the shops with this little fat boy, his psycho mum, and a security guard, but I'll save that for another day.

Oh and, frus, in case you're reading this...*teases* I got a kaiser chiefs baaadge =)

Baby, can I drive your car?

2006-02-11T08:05:00.000+08:00

I'm putting this up on my blog, in public, so that this time, I'm gona stop procrastinating and do it for sure. And people, I'm gona need all your encouragement and support to do this, or I'll laze out and put it off again.

Drivers around Penrith, be forewarned. Your streets will never be safe again.

Come this wednesday, I will get off my ass and get to the RTA (that, or steven will drag me there) and sit for my L license so that I can legally drive (so that I don't have to quake in fear everytime I see a police car), and I WILL PASS. And I will get a car by the end of the year, and then I'll be able to drive to school, and also be the lovely sweet lass that I am and fetch all my friends aroud. Also, I can drag Leon down (up?) to Melbourne to visit Frus, because silly me can't remember nuts about melbourne even tho I've apparently been there twice before.

Sigh, I'm trying out the practice test right now, and so far I've failed 3 times. fuckety fuck.

My motivation? Public transport, and all its inefficencies and nonsensical timetables. For example, the bus that I planned to take to the train station comes at 7.20 am, which isn't too bad a time. BUT, guess what? The train to school leaves just 1-2 minutes BEFORE my bus arrives at the station. So IF, say, I wana catch the train on time, I'd have to take the bus at the ungodly hour of 6.50 am, and thats just plain abnormal and ridiculous to get up so early. Only school loving, homework-doing geeky assfucks would do that.

Oh right, I AM in a school for school-loving, homework-doing geeky assfucks. Damn you, Westbus and Cityrail.

Steven's (Amie's ex, and no we're not going out or anything so don't get the wrong idea) been nice enough to wake up early and give me a lift to school a few times, but I feel bad.

So yes, Kimmy will have a car and drive legally by the end of the year, so please give her lots of encouragement and words of praise for her EXCELLENT driving. =)

2006-02-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

Ladies, do you like guys with big rear ends?

I know I don't. Its disgusting and unattractive. Curves are meant for the fairer sex, damnit!

Natasha's been pointing out this rather generously equipped guy in year 12, to quote her exactly, "Do you reckon its muscly or squishy? I reckon its soft. I just wana grab his butt and squeeze the damn thing!"

Yuckety yuck.

I am contemplating taking up tennis again; I used to play a hell lot since it was the only sport besides volleyball and bowling that I am half decent at. So yes, Kim shall try out for the school team in a few weeks time (not that I'm gona practice or anything beforehand, I'll just leave it to talent and luck =D), and she will indeed be accepted, and will become a great tennis star so she doesn't have to spend every damn day choosing between legal studies and music!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reading back my old posts, I've realised how different I am now, compared to back then. Taken, my basic morals and principles, the way I think etc is still the same, but my approach towards life, the way I react to the things that happen around me, have somewhat dulled down; no longer do I put so much priority towards the things I should, ie friends, school, work, etc...instead, everything that happens, I expected. Nothing excites me anymore, nothing stirs me up anymore. My enthusiasm for life has packed its bag and gone on extended leave, and I don't know what its gona take to bring it back.

Nothing's new, nothing's shocking. I am numb.

Just a phase, or another step as this little girl grows up a little more?

Perhaps, all thats happened in the past year, all the emotional rollercoasters, the people I've met and been influenced and affected by, all thats happened...its worn me out. Even the way I write is different, the wit and creativity's gone, which was the reason I started blogging in the first place. I am jaded, oh yes.

If love is what love's meant to be...

2006-02-04T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hello dear reader,

Have you ever heard the sound of 7 lovely wine glasses smashing into pieces, one by one? Its beautiful, I tell you. The guilt that comes after that, and the feeling of 80 restaraunt patrons staring at you for the next 2 minutes while you clean up the mess, and the dissapointment in your self after having gloated over the fact that you've never broken anything, is not so nice.

SEVEN glasses, damit. SEVEN. A customer told me it was actually considered good luck, and if that truly does signify what the guy said it would, well then, Good Luck, my door's open for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was talking to a friend last night, and he said, "Damn, how could he have let you go?"

Yes, how could he? I loved that idiot. The first and only person I've loved with all I have, because of everything he is. Earlier, I was stupid enough to dig through my emails and earth out the emails sent between me and you know who. HIM laaaaaah.

Oh god, I hope I don't come out sounding like some depressed lovesick teenage girl crying over the stupid things, because this wasn't just anything. I know its silly, but I asked myself, were those six precious months just a dream? Was he just a fantasy I managed to get mixed up with the real world, after having convinced myself that I would never find someone who I could feel so complete with, that could lighten up the gloomiest day?

I have to ponder the hand fate had dealt me: The week before I met him, I was given the choice of working Tuesdays, or Sundays. Somehow I chose Tuesdays, even though Sundays would mean more customers, meaning more tips. He walked through the restaraunt door and into my life the following Tuesday. Had I chosen Sundays, we would have probably never crossed paths, and he would still be a stranger I'd not yet met. The following months saw me experience some of the most beautiful moments of my life ever, thanks to him. Everyone could see how happy he made me. I don't think I've ever felt so close to, so safe with another person.

I've never allowed myself to be. Don't see how I will again. Its incredibly hard for me to trust people, to allow myself to open up to them.

And just as suddenly as he had entered my life, he's gone now, and I'm back to zero again. I took what probably was the sole real gamble I've ever made with another person, and I lost. We've not talked, emailed, or anything, and as much as I've tried to get over it from one bad break up remedy to another...I'll put it bluntly: It still fucking hurts. I really don't see how I'm going to get over this without some mending up on his part.

Yes, its been two months, and I'm still mourning. Maybe because the closure's not there. You can't mend a broken heart with band-aid, it takes much more than that. So sue me for loving. If I could put my state of mind right now into a song, it would be Sinead O Connor's Nothing Compares. Cheesy, I know, but I'm being honest.

Really now, how do you choose to let go of something so beautiful, like what it had been?

A radical Idea

2006-02-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

I've been late to school 3 days in a row. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but the buses, THE MOTHERFUCKING BUSES, have to get to the train station a minute too late.

And today, I only rocked up to school at about 1o am, 1 and a half hours after school starts.

"ah, back to your old ways eh, kim?" said Prayas.

Indeed. I have other things and issues on my mind, you see.

Like today at work, this cool dude who comes to the restaraunt alot (and stares at me alot too, but i dont mind cos he's cool) got confused which bathroom was which, since the women's doesn't actually have a sign that signified it was for the fairer sex. He was complaining to me about it, and then it occured to me...

Why do we need to have seperate toilets for seperate genders anyway?

I'm gona admit that I've used men's toilets a handful of times when I've been busting to go and there was an endless queue at the ladies', and also cos I really dont give a shit if people think I'm weird for doing it (Its not like I'm gona sprout a penis by peeing in the men's right?) and found it no different.

It should be like in Ally McBeal, where they share toilets and its fine, and even makes things more fun.

Anyway, I want to share my discovery of this very wonderful singer/songwriter, rachael brady, with you. Yeah, she's a WOMAN. This proves that WOMEN can be kickass songwriters, not just the cute doe eyed hippie guys.

If you like the likes of jack johnson, jason mraz, ben harper, etc etc, you will like her. She writes with thought. Thought, people, thought...thats what more so called musicians need these days.

"Jesus was a radical
buddha was a radical
Martin Luther King was REVOLUTIONARY"

www.myspace.com/rachaelbradytrio

Her song 'Sunday', a jazzy, soulful, bluesy, breezy number now adourns my myspace page...it describes my (regular) state of mind perfectly.

I should sleep.

First days are always the best

2006-01-31T20:37:00.000+08:00

Scenario I had in my head:

I wake up early, catch the bus to the station, take a train from there, meet my old schoolmates and other new st marys students, be really nice to them and everyone will like me alot and I will have lots and lots of best friends by time the first day ends.

What actually happened:

I woke up late, had to get a ride from my uncle, turned up just in time, got culture-shocked by the fact that everyone's dressed in normal clothes, and how many asian/arab/ethnic kids there were in the school compared to Glenmore Park, got told off along with natasha for talking during the principal's speech (my attention span for things like that is zero), went for lunch and came back 20 miutes late, and ended up in the wrong legal studies class.

But I loved every second if it. Everyone's really nice, albeit some abit superficially (kinda reminds me of church, hah), the teachers are cool and dont give a damn if you're late, and the canteen food is like 5 star gourmet, compared to GPHS. Also, I got all the subjects I chose which I'm pretty lucky for, since a number of people didn't get what they wanted. Sort of. I didn't want legal studies, my mum was the one who convinced me to take it.

Oh yeah, my subjects are :-

Advanced English
2 unit math (intermediate..my math is good enough do Extension 1 which is the hardest, but I'm just too damn lazy)
French (My teacher's name is Gerard Garcia, and I just LOVED this class....we're going to New Caledonia in July!!! New fucking caledonia!!)
Photography
Society & Culture
Legal Studies

Legal studies was so darn screwed up. I'd lost my sheet with the classroom numbers on it, and so I followed Prayas (GPHS schoolmate) cos he had legal studies as well. We sat down, talked to some people, and our teacher was the coolest guy ever with this crazy curly mini afro.

I thought, hey, this could actually be fun since the teacher's so cool...I might actually enjoy law!

He marked the role of names and I listened intently for my name to be called out. He got past the J's....K's...L's(where my name should've been)....M's.....hmmm, now where on earth was my name? I then vaguely remembered seeing my teacher's name on my sheet of paper as a 'Miss' instead of 'Mister'. And so I pulled it out and sure enough, it said "Legal Studies - Line 4 - Miss Kennedy".

Ah fuck.

Great going, kim. First day of school and you're already screwing up (Natasha and I were 20 minutes late for the previous class, thinking lunch lasted 1 hour instead of the half an hour we had). The teacher was cool about it though, he went, "Quick everyone! turn around and start laughing at her!"

When I finally found my class, my REAL teacher turned out to be this really, ehm, vintage woman who just read from the booklet we had. Sigh.

I'm trying my damndest not to type in caps because its quite unncessary but I just can't contain my excitement about this........WE HAD PHOTOGRAPHY TODAY AND GOT TO PLAY WITH THE CAMERAS!!!

Nuff said. =)

I'm gona leave you with a pretty pic of my lovely Thai workmate-cum-buddy Narm. Her sex exploits are unbelievable, she's currently telling me about how her ex boyfriend (whom she still, um, sees) secretly filmed them while they were at it. Damn kids these days.

So hot right? hehe. Goodnight.

2006-01-30T18:50:00.000+08:00

I got my hotmail account back. Turns out stupid cousin stole it and changed the password.

Anyway, I'm back in oz.

The plane ride was tiring and sleepless. I stayed up the whole time watching the Constant Gardener, which is a great, great movie and now I understand all the golden globe hoopla surrounding it, and also Just Like Heaven and Little Britain. Why didn't I sleep? My seat couldn't recline as there was a rather, uhm, large woman sitting behind me.
Its effing hot here, not unlike M'sia.
School starts tomorrow, and I haven't really got anything prepared.
My hair's going purple once again...I accidentally stained my arms with the dye, am worried it wont come off and people are gona point at me on my first day and go, "Look! Purple Asian!"
Leon wants me to mention him in my blog so here it is: Leon is a pretty boy who thinks he's a manly man. Happy? =D

The curious incident of the motherfucking hacker in the night time

2006-01-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

...So I'm in Changi Airport right now, transitting to Sydney. There is a 5 hour long gap between my flights.

FIVE HOURS.

People watching while pretending to read a book is kinda fun I guess, especially when you spot hot dudes and try to figure out where they're from. The only downside being that I've got no one to crap to because my gay gay gay phone can't call out from s'pore (even though I can recieve messages).

I've also managed to entertain myself by ordering a salad from Subway and being damn fussy bout the ingredients...and then ordering a big fat fried rice and having people stare at me funny.

Now lets get to the point.

SOME MOTHER FUCKER HACKED INTO MY HOTMAIL ACCOUNT AND CHANGED MY PASSWORD.

Soooo so so so pissed off....why? Cos its been hacked into before, and I never really cared, but this time THE IDIOT CHANGED MY PASSWORD!!!

206 CONTACTS ALL GONE!!

ARGH.

MemeMamaMomo

2006-01-28T01:49:00.000+08:00

Got this from yuin, who's like my most avid comment-er. Thanks man. I just got back from one last pool sesh with sandra, shane and vinod before I leave for aus again saturday night...me and sandra got our asses kicked pretty hard. Vinod got knocked unconcious on the way to my house, and he still showed up, like nothing happened. Some people are just crazy, but you gotta love em for it.

I typed up a nice post about how absolutely awesome and caring guys can be and how much I appreciate them, even though there are so many rapists/psychos/killers out there nowadays. Maybe more on that later.

Now read, goddamit.

4 Jobs you had in your life

-voice over chick. or whatever it is you call people who get paid to read lines into a microphone.
-my dad forces, ahem, pays me to go to his office and "work", inverted commas because half the time I sit there and do nothing, waiting for him to come back from court/meetings/otherboringlawyerstuff.
-Waitress. Lovin it. Nuff said.
-Soon to be web designer.

4 movies you could(have) watch over and over

-Closer.
-Windstruck. Never fails to make me cry.
-Almost Famous.
-Agreed with yuin...Pulp Fiction. Practically every line from that flick is quotable. DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER?? ENGLISH! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT??!

4 tv shows you love(d) to watch:

-House house house. I have the dvds for Season 1. muahahaha.
-Scrubs. (I realise This is a med show too..not that i'm too fond of hospitals or anything, just coincidence)
-The Chappelle Show. WATCH IT.
-Amazing race.

4 places you've lived:

-Canberra, Aus. Where I was born.
-Some house, SS18. Til I was 4 or 5.
- Semi-D with green gate and a kiddie slide in the garden in USJ 5, been living there since I was 4 or 5...still pretty much "home" for me.
-Glenmore Park.

4 places you've been on vacation to:

-Korea, the motherland.
-South Africa
-Lotsa Europe
-US.
(my family travelled alot, and I still have the travel bug's poison in me)

4 places you would rather be:

-right now?
-i'm just
-happy to be
-home.

4 of your favourite food:

-Thai curry, thai salads...Anything Thai, I love. I'm a closet thai, ha.ha.
-Dolsott bibim bab. Korean dish - rice mixed with chilli paste, lotsa vege, an egg and a lil meat in a sizzling hot claypot. Mmmmm.
-Seafood....butter prawns, oyster omelettes, crabs....the kinda dishes you can only get at some not-so-clean seaside restaraunt in M'sia, the kind with plastic chairs and red table clothes and no menus. MMMM.
-Anything that makes you fat without being too sweet.

4 websites you visit daily:

-google.com
-blogspot.com (i write posts i sometimes don't publish and only save as drafts)
-uuuhm....
-kimberleylowisveryhotandsmartandfunny.com. really.

4 tagged:

-you,
-you,
-you, and...
-you.

2006-01-26T01:11:00.000+08:00

Like oh my god!!! New layout!!!

The original image of the girl and butterfly and flowers was black and white, but it was too plain so I used my trusty Photoshop CS2 to work some colour, and drastically transformed the butterfly.

Hope you like it.

Today was crazy, but too damn tired to blog about it. Going out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner tomorrow, all with diff people. Crazy.

I fly back to sydney this saturday, land on sunday.

Tra.

So THIS is regret

2006-01-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

Edit: Just some random piccies. First one I love love love, stolen from Azhana's myspace, NOTE THE EYE COLOUR, people.

I just went to see the Wig with vinod, and not that I'm one to betray my fellow koreans, but the movie downright SUCKED. And let me tell you, it takes a really, really bad horror/ghost movie for me to say it sucks. The last half hour was painfully boring, and what more, there was a bunch of guys sitting behind us making lame noises, causing me to shout, "DIAM AR WEI!"

But that wasn't the highlight of the day.

We were leaving the cinema, going through the passageway, nearly out the door to the mall when I spotted a certain someone who seemed to be waiting for someone else.

Guess who!

Here's a clue: He's a kick ass singer, and fronts the BEST malaysian band, ever.

And another: I'm obsessed with him and his band, but not to the point of stalker-dom. I swear I just happen to be in the right place at the right time.

(This is an old pic....shut up, I know I look stupid here...I was too star struck k?)

AND another: He was the first person ever to smash his guitar at Rock The World.

...Thats right motherfuckers, it was Radhi from Oag!!

As we walked pass, I went crazy, going, "Oh my god was that radhi? Whats he doing in pyramid?? was he with those annoying dudes behind us?? what if i pissed him off? should I go say hi? what if he thinks i'm a stalker? what if it isn't him? Oh my god oh my god its radhi!"

I drove vinod crazy obsessing about it as we left, and I kept glancing back at radhi, who must've thought I was a lil cuckoo in the head.

Finally I gathered up the guts (I'm pretty shameless when it comes to going up to random people, but this is, like, the frontman of one of my fav bands ever) and we decided to go back to where he was waiting or whatever it was that he was doing...

But by then, no more radhi.

He was gone. Nowhere to be found. Sigh.

But, I am the one and only Kim, and I was not gona give up! I dragged vinod all over pyramid (sorry =>), hunting for radhi...but I soon realised, shit, this was what crazy psycho stalker people do. And me no crazy psycho stalker person.

Then again, we concluded that he must've recognised me and remembered me as that crazy psycho stalker fan, and ran away before I attacked. Boohoo.

One chance to actually talk to the guy instead of squeal incomprehendible noises that sound like words of affection, and I blew it. DAMN. Never again.

P.S. Radhi, if, by any tiny little chance you're reading this, I swear swear swear I don't stalk you, I just love your songs and your voice and your band to death. And if you were indeed the guy behind me in the cinema making stupid noises and ruining the movie...well, I forgive you.

2006-01-23T07:55:00.000+08:00

Good morning sunshines.

There's a reason why I'm wide awake, blogging at 7.55 am on a Monday. Ever since it was possible to do so, I've had this dream to visit the KLCC Skybridge. Stupid, I know, but its one of the ten million things I have yet to tick off on my list of Things To Do Before I Die. I've probably had about two dozen chances to do so, but everytime, something comes up at the last minute, or I fall sick, or someone dies, or something annoying like that.

Then last night, at about 1 in the morning (I still call it night k?), Nick called me up with a pretty sweet offer. He had two friends from England visiting and he planned to take em up the skybridge super super early this morning, like 7 or 8, and invited me along.

Now, nick lives damn far away like somewhere near Mid Valley or something, and no on in their right mind would want to go all the way from there to subang, then back towards KL again at this time in the morning, what with the monstrous traffic jams subang is famous for. Nick, however, was kind (or perhaps stupid) enough to offer to pick me up, provided I woke him up at 6.20 am.

I have such great friends, hor?

Excited, I immediately agreed, set my phone alarm to 6.15 am and even threw in two reminders at 6.17 and 6.19 to CALL NICK, and went straight to bed...

I WAS GOING TO THE SKY-FCUKING-BRIDGE!!!

...

This morning I woke up, blurry...then I remembered,

I WAS GOING TO THE SKY-FUCKING-BRIDGE!!!

I thought, oh wow, its gona be such a great day today, I get to see Nick (whom I havent met up with yet since I got back), meet some new people, bring them around KL, plan our website (Nick have this awesome idea for a site, and we're gona make lots of money out of it....) go shopping in KL (I planned to get an mp3 player)...and oh wow! look! I even woke up before my alarm rang!! Hmm, I wonder what time it is...? Lets see..where's my phone...here it is....OH MY GOD, DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT....

It was 7.28 am

7. 28 AM....!

MY ALARM DIDN'T RING...! I was more than an hour late..!

You know that feeling as a kid, when the last ice cream from the ice cream man was gone just when it was your turn, and you knew that yeah yeah you should've been there earlier, but by god, all you wanted was just some damn ice cream?

MY STUPID RETARDED GOOD FOR NOTHING NOKIA PHONE ALARM DIDN'T RING

I called up nick.

It was too late.

By time he picked me up and got back to KL, it would've been 9 am, and all the tickets for the skybridge would be gone.

I have such great friends, hor?

I said ok, thanks anyway, hope you have fun.

What I really meant was, ok, thanks anyway, hope the tickets run out by time you ge there, and if they don't, hope the goddamn bridge collapses while you're happily walking across it with your two pommy english friends who're prolly gay anyway.

I then remembered waking up at 3.20 am, then going back to sleep again.

My body's been working Aussie time.

And I will never ever get to visit the skybridge. Sigh.

2006-01-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

If you've seen my recent pix on this blog, you would know that my hair is, as Mandy put it, "DAMN freakin long!!!"

Today, I got my long, waist length crown of glory that is my hair, cut off. ALOT of it.

Its always been a secret dream of mine to have bloody long hair, and after 2 years of hardly any haircuts, only getting a trim once in a blue moon to get rid of them annoying split ends, I've become somewhat attached to my long, 70s hippie style hair, and downright refused to get it cut even with consistent nagging from mum/aunties/friends.

So today, in a split second decision, I decided to get it chopped off. About 5 or 6 inches of precious hair that took so painstakingly long to grow was brutally severed off in the matter of 20 minutes...and I'm actually happy with it. For once, I didn't cry after a visit to the hair saloon. (Ahem, I can be super crazy sensitive about the few things I care about in life, and as shallow and vain as this sounds, I love love LOVE my hair, and go absolutely berserk everytime there's anything slightly wrong with it.)

More than anything, I felt free and liberated. I guess it was one of those pivotal moments when you realise that by letting go of and leaving behind a material posession you've held onto for a long time even if its something as stupid and meaningless as hair, it can also trigger the letting-go of emotional baggage thats been weighing you down, mine being the case of the ex.

I know this sounds annoyingly emo and teenage angsty, but I still cry about it, and I still think about it every waking second, wonder about what went wrong, what could've been if I'd acted otherwise...Its always been easy as anything for me to let go of people after having changed schools so many times, but I guess loving someone and caring about him so damn much changes you.

But enough about the sad stuff....tomorrow night, I'm having a small garden/bbq/moonlight gathering at my place. call it whatever you want. I'm lighting up my front lawn with dozens of small tea candles, the kind you can get at Ikea in packs of 100, and putting out mats for people to sit on. Light, fun, yet intimate. Good for photos too. =)

Sandra's been kind enough to lend me her BBQ set AND will also be bringing some wine. Please don't be offended if we've hung out/talked and I didnt invite you; I'm only allowed to have so many people over and believe me, making up the guest list was just about as tough as those Super Sudoku puzzles. yeah...TOUGH.

And for those of you who ARE coming...dress good,be good, and do up your hair. What to bring? A camera, presents (come on, I LOVE presents), and an empty stomache (so I can fill you up...there's always too much food at my parties). Oh and, bring your own beer too if you plan on getting wasted.

2006-01-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

Few months ago, I made the decision to stop eating junk food, especially from all those big worldwide eateries such as McDonald's, KFC, etc etc. The reason behind this was, besides being convinced by certain-ex-who-shall-not-be-named-but-you-know-who-i'm-talking-about that all big corporate thingies are evil, I also decided that, after living on junk food for 10 years of my life, its time to start eating some REAL food.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing about junkfood is that I am very, VERY angry with a certain McDonalds employee. Let me explain.

Few nights ago, I was taking my little sister Jasmine around, of all places, Sungei Wang Plaza, aka lala people land. If you're wondering what on earth I was doing there, well, thats another story altogether,

So anyway, the sis got hungry and, just like any other mcdonald-savvy 5 year old, she wanted nothing but the golden arches. Being the doting, loving sister that I am, I queued up at McD's, and even offered to buy her a crappy meal, ahem, I mean Happy meal. of course. Also, a friend was raving to me about them Prosperity burgers....Onion! pepper! beef! yum! So I decided heck, just a little bit of mcdonalds won't hurt, right?

Thankfully the line wasn't that long, the time being 10 pm, or some crazy hour like that. It was finally almost my turn and, elated, I got out my purse when all of a sudden, out of nowhere.....this big black (as in African american, me no racist) motherfucker pushes in front of me, and asks for 20 chicken nuggets. TWENTY!

And ooooo, as if that wasn't enought, the dumbarse of a mcdonald's counter chick actually WENT TO GET THE DUDE HIS CHICKEN.

First of all, WHO THE HELL ASKS FOR 20 CHICKEN NUGGETS?? Isn't bird flu enough to scare the mass majority of our the paranoid-over-nothing malaysians today??

And second of all, everyone should know this, and if you don't, just write yourself as grotesquely ignorant....YOU DO NOT PUSH IN FRONT OF GIRLS JUST BECAUSE THEY APPEAR TO BE SMALLER/WEAKER THAN YOU. They will fight you. No joke. Especially Kimberley Low Jean-Hee.

ARGH! I got so mad I tell you, a scowl immediately came over my face and I went literally red suppressing every urge to try and beat the guy up. (I also held back knowing that, if I did indeed attempt to physically harm the guy in any way, I would look incredibly stupid and possibly get my ass whipped too.) So instead, being me and my inability to keep my mouth shut, I got in the guy's face (my annoyance radiating like stench from a public toilet by now), and half shouted,

"Hey you know what? You might wana at least pretend to queue up for a bit before pushing in like you own the place..."

And I immediately regretted it after I said it, because by then, 3 of his big tall friends came over to see what the fuss was about. I expected them to laugh in my face. Start arguing with me. Beat me up. Ignore me.

Anything.

But, amazingly enough, he....apologised! And with the utmost sincerity at that, "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you were in the line. *gesturing with hands* Please, go first. "

..........

I thought this was out of sarcasm at first, but then he actually called the counter chick back to come serve me first, and I thought, hey, maybe people aren't THAT bad, after all. The guy genuinely didn't see me, and he apologised so no harm done, right?

.....THEN THE RETARD OF A BITCH, BLISSFULLY IGNORANT OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED, COMPLETELY IGNORES ME, AND BRINGS THE GUY HIS GODDAMN NUGGETS.

Pfffffft. I let it go, and when it was finally my turn, I told her, "Hey man, your job is to serve the customers, next time you might actually wana take a look at who's lining up and who's not." Ahem, for some reason, when I said 'man', it came out 'mahn', like a jamaican would say it. Blame the ex.

But thats not the point. She was saying sorry, but I didnt want any of it, so I got the food and walked off, fuming, and swearing off mcdonalds for life.

Prosperity, my ass.

2006-01-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

A very random playlist of all the songs I've been listening to like crazy/burning into cds and giving out to people and making them listen to.

Hey Ho Lets Go - The Ramones
So Says I - The Shins
Mystery Girl - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Good Weekend-Art Brut
Don't Look Back into the Sun - The Libertines
Out of My Mind-James Blunt
Baba o Reily - The Who (I didn't like this song so much when a friend first raved about it, but then it was in a really good episode of House -best show ever-....the PERFECT song for that particular scene, and fell in love with it there and then)
Lost in the Supermarket-The Clash
Train in Vain- The Clash
Spanish Bombs - The Clash
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
State of Emergency-Bjork
True- Black Eyed Peas (their cover of the spandau ballet classic...black eyed peas are COOL, ok?)
She's got a new spell - Billy Bragg
Baby, you can drive my car - The Beatles
D'yer Mak'er-Led Zeppelin
Forever for her (is over for me) - THE WHITE STRIPES
A hard rain's a-gonna fall-Bob Dylan
Sexy Boy - Air ( i hated this at first, but its kinda grown on me)
Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand
Permysuri-OaG
There Goes My Gun-The Pixies
If Your Kisses Can't Hold - Rasputina (Rasputina is the shit)
When the Night Feels My Song - Bedouin Soundclash (I stumbled on this while searching for clash songs on limewire...if you have to illegally download just one song in the whole entire world, let it be this)

Sigh. Langkawi blew, I was having stomache probs half the time...lesson?

Never drink milk with beer. NEVER.

penang!

2006-01-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

Sidenote: I'm flying out of subang again tomorrow..! This time its the beautiful island of Langkawi, and sadly I'll only be there for 3 days and 2 nights. Purely by coincidence, Suet, Baz, and Clem are gona be there too, with only one hour difference between my flight and theirs. Yay, this should be fun.

Mahai, I didn't know you could publish pix directly via blogspot...previously, one would have to use that stupid Hello program. Anyway, here are the pictures from penang. I'm very proud of them, especially the butterfly ones, so I'm expecting lots of praise and worship from you yeah. =D

We stayed at the Bayview Beach Resort....I know, I know, its a crappy shot, but the hotel was actually pretty nice; I enjoyed it through and through.

Kimberley Low Jean-Hee.

My cousin James' dad (my uncle), uncle's sis, mum, and dad. This family is damn funny, in every single pic they take together, its always the same stand straight, hands by the side, look straight at the camera pose.

Seee!! Another one!

Me and james, pre-parasailing.

I had to do it with my younger cousin Wendy cos she was scared, and refused to go with her mum, in case her mum snapped the rope. hahahaa. Rm 50 per person, and only for about 3 minutes, no joke.

All revved up an ready to go....

Run, Kimmy, run!

...and we're off!

yeaha, another back shot. Its gona be my trademark now =D

-oklah, I couldn't be bothered to put up anymore captions, and I'm pretty sure that if you're malaysian, you've been to penang. So just look at the pictures, lah.-

hahaha there they are again.

ok, butterfly pix now. Do click on the pix for full view...its amazing to see a butterfly up close, in so much detail.

Alrighty, here's the golden pic of the whole trip...This was taken in front of a procession near a hindu temple; its THE shot.

Damn nice right? Say YES, BITCH! This was exhaustingly hard to take as they were on top of the back of a truck, everything was moving, and horse was spinning slowly. Its the only clear shot I have, and even that was a bit tilted so I had to rotate it slightly.

The temple. another hard shot...i was practically lying on the ground, looking like a total idiot. oh well, it was worth the shot. pun intended.

Bright Lights.

And thats it. Oh wait, no....how could I forget?

Fooood, glorious food.

Penang, how I love you.
.
.
.
.
And your RM4 dvds.

2006-01-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

Edit: Re-reading this post, I've realised my writing skills, previously witty and clever, have dwindled down to simplistic sentences comprising of an 8 year old's vocabulary, and many many exclamation marks. I shall do something about this soon, but in the mean time, please bear with me.

Holy crap, Penang is a wonderful place.

The food, the glorious food....but I ate too much curry, and now I'm down with a sore throat, fever, runny nose etc.For the first time in my 16 and a half years, I acutally don't want to be sick.

I went parasailing!!!!! Its like flying!!! but bloody hell, RM50 for flapping around in the air with a parachute for 3 minutes. Worthit? I dont know. Pictures from the trip will be up soon.

I bought, amongst a whole bunch of other crap cos everything up there's so fcuking cheap, the entire first seasons of Scrubs, and...*drum roll*......HOUSE!! HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE!!!! I HAVE THE ENTIRE FIRST SEASON OF HOUSE!!!!

ahem. yeah.

..........................Its house goddamit!! HOUSE!

I also got the dvds for....get ready for this....Garden State! Elizabethtown! Dandelion! Pulp Fiction! Closer! Eurotrip! Beauty Shop! Some gay action flick my cousin chose!

All for RM4 per dvd...Thats about aussie $1.50. Four bloody ringgit, goddamit, down here in KL we pay RM8-10 for one. Rip offs.

And also Franz ferdiand, kanye west, bob dylan and bob marley cds!!

Friends in aus, be prepared to be showered with loads of cool little asian trinkets. I know, I know, I spoil you guys =)

How was your new years? I spent midnight in the car, stuck in a jam in front of sunway pyramid with the guys. It was great.

Ok, proper post coming up soon. I'm a bit too sick now to think. Meantime, check out my kick ass pix from the butterfly farm in penang on my deviantart site, www.closetgroupie.deviantart.com

Til I get over you

2005-12-30T14:42:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I've been busy. This is the first time since monday that I've been home long enough to churn out a blog post (and only a half decent one at that), so do forgive if the writing gets messy.

Ever since christmas, everything's been a blur; I've been out every day, and some nights, but not with this particular someone that I want. Falling asleep super late on the cold hard living room floor, only to have a totally drunk Nick call me up at 5 am to learn mandarin pick up lines, then waking up early (yes Mel, 11 am is early for me) is no good for a Little-Miss-Scoliocis like myself; my spine's been hurting more than ever, but I'm too damn scared/kiamsiap to go get it checked out.

Bottom line: I have not been having a good time.

Why? Because I'm not getting what, or well, who, I want.

So starting last night, I decided, ah, fuck this. Why bother anymore? No point making so much effort for a guy who likes you but is too damn busy all the time, and going away soon anyway, and so am I in a month. Besides, he's just a rebound guy. Yah, I have a brilliant knack of starting relationships that are doomed from the start. Must remind myself: Kimberley Low Jean-Hee, you do not live here anymore. NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS.

Boys, stay away.

What's worse? My stupid, emo, body-too-fat-and-lazy-to-get-ass-off-the-bed-ness is back, sparked by crying uncontrollably to the Notebook from the recent 2 nights in a row movie marathons at my place. Melting over a Ryan Gosling while sobbing my eyes out (at first because of the movie, then because it brought back memories of you-know-who) is not nice.

Its just weird after you break up, innit? When you're together, you know what the person's doing everyday, where they are, if they're ok etc etc all the time, and then you stop talking, and there's the whole mystery (I wonder what he's doing? Does he still eat at that restaraunt? Did he change his hair?) to think about.

I...

wana...

play...

pool.

But I'm too lazy to call up anyone. Did I mention I've taken up belly dancing? All this eating's catching up with me and my super slow metabolism, So I decided to find something new, that I haven't done yet so I don't lose interest so fast.

Okok, I'll stop now. Eh, my maid just told me that some people have been calling the house looking for me, and not leaving their name or anything. Mahai, don't be a dumb ass lah. If you wana talk to me, at LEAST leave your number so I can call you back. Then it would save you the trouble of having to randomly guess when I'm gona be home next so you can call me, and save ME the trouble of wondering all day who you are, right?

*contemplates publishing handphone number on blog...*

Pah...I may be brave, but I'm not stupid. (or is it the other way aroaund?) Whatever. Call again, AND KINDLY LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER THIS TIME.

Sheeeeeeesh.

2005-12-26T02:37:00.000+08:00

I got motivated to write after 2 hours of listening to nothing but the Shins, studying the way their lyrics are written. They're woven together in a very unusual matter, and I would love love love to get into the head of the songwriter, ala being John Malkovich, just to see how his mind works. I noticed alot of references to things to do with the sea, ie

"if you took to me like, a gull takes to the wind"

...how beautiful is that?

And more snippets:

"Of course I was raised to gather courage from those
Lofty tales so tried and true and
If you're able I'd suggest it 'cause this
Modern thought can get the best of you

This rather simple epitaph can save your hide
your falling mind
Fate isn't what we're up against
there's no design no flaws to find
There's no design no flaws to find.

...And my favorite:

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?

I can't get enough of them. Now read my poem, and you will like it. Because everyone loves nonsensical poetry. You don't? Shut up and read anyway.

"A Stifling Liaison"

The ghost that taunts,

bringing guilt from the grave

My conscience comes

crashing like tidal waves

Disregarding the world

with a perfunctory glance

I raise my left hand,

I take a stand

As I pay homage,

to a love so epic

And wipe the trivial

look off his face

Heart in hand we soar head first

Up into the wide open space.

The colourful band on my wrist is from a Thai temple and it was given to me by my boss, a devout buddhist, whom also pratically forced my then-guy to wear one. I wear mine because I somehow feel safe, he wears his because....its too tight to come off =P

I'm pretty sure if you've been reading my blog, you could tell by now I'm not too big on religion; I think it just adds to the world's already overflowing amount of social problems. My family is, however, buddhist (one side of it anyway; and I've given up on christianity, no offense), and I sometimes try to follow the faith as its values and teachings seem pretty logical and reasonable to me. Its more of a way of life to me and not so much of a religion, more than anything.

2005-12-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hey you,

Woke up this morning, happy....

the loft last night was awesome, you would've loved it,

some pix later

Twilight Action Girl are my new gods

Wasted the afternoon away, tired,

Wondered what you were doing,

who you're with...

you should be with me.

played yahoo pool with barry..

mum came and told me i got an xmas card in the mail... from australia!!!

Who could it be who could it be?

My head knew who it was (dan),

but my heart wanted it to be you...you have my address

And someone once told me optimism can pay off in the end

...........

....And it wasn't you

Thanks anyway dan, for the card and the advice, they put a smile on my face =)

then played real pool...

with barry. hahaha.

Had roti bakar and half boiled eggs, love that stuff

checked out books at mph

tried to steal a magazine with the clash on the cover

you would've told me not to

came home

checked the email

maybe you sent me an xmas greeting?

zip.

nadda.

nothing.

just a sign that you're alive, goddamit

you love my brain my company my wit my looks

so why not me?

missing you, more than ever

merry fucking xmas to you too

Rock the World VI

2005-12-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

Ok ok, stop bugging me, here are the RTW VI pix already. SHEESH. =P

So my mummy was nice enough to send us all the way to Stadium Merdeka even though no one knew where it was.

When we were near KL, my mum asked, "Does anybody know the way there?"
Choon How replied, "To KL ar?", then he pointed in the direction of the KL Tower. OMFG. "If that way cannot, then try the twin towers."

Right......because we all don't know the way to KL. Bloody genius, clap clap clap.

These four had to cram into the backseat. Thats Jolyn ( i think thats how you spell it), Jake, Choon How, and Daryl with his 200000000 tickets he still hadn't manage to sell. Me and daryl got in with our...

...VIP PASSES. Thats right, suckers. Thank you daryl! There was even a special entrance for pass holders, nyehehe.

The view when we got there, about 5 pm.

the stage from the passes-only area ;p We didn't know what band was playing, so we didn't bother taking any pix, but right after that it was....

OAG!!!!

and look its radhi!!So adorable!! Managed to get all these amazing pix cos we were RIGHT in front of the stage where all the media people were, in front of the moshers.

Radhi with his guitar of which he later smashed to smitherines.

My fave radhi pic, so so so happy with it.

ok, the last pic of radhi, I swear. I feel like a stalker. This is him doing an interview right after the performance. Note the gay looking interviewer.

Daryl, me and radhi. I talked to him a bit, and he remembers me from his acoustic performance in hartamas last year! *starry eyed*

Interview with hitz.tv

Me and the guitarist and bassist of OaG. I THINK he's the bassist anyway *malu*

Daryl with em. I like this pic.

Next up was Disagree, a grunge rock band thats been doing pretty well in Malaysia for the past 2 years. Im gona be honest and say that I'm not exactly a fan, so here's the lead singer Zahid not looking too cool.

Obligatory pic I took with zahid, since daryl took one with him at first.

And then it was....THE TIMES! There's been alot of hype about this brit rock band, what with the lead singer and guitarist being ex-OAG members, and I've been dying to hear them. And goddamit, they kicked ass. They're amazing, could rival Oasis ANYTIME. Ok, maybe not yet...but soon. They're great.

This is a pic everyone must applaud me for, because it is cool and speaks for itself.

Me with The Times. They were so sweet and friendly, I love love love them. They're my new favorite Malaysian band...after OAG lah.

There was a break after that and me and Daryl went to go find the rest. We found em sittin on the tracks with some other people. I felt a bit left out cos everyone was deep in conversation with someone else, and every attempt i made to start one came out with me sounding like an airhead.

So we took some pix.

I love this pic. Jake wasn't posing...that's the look he has on his face most of the time =p

Next up after the break was Plague of Happiness...I heard the name and I thought they were some emo angsty band so I didnt even bother getting up, but it was.....ska!! And so I got off my ass and ran back to the stage and goddamit they were good.

Apparently they 'borrowed' Gerhana Skacinta's trumpet player. The energy from this band was incendiary (muahaha, I used a big word)....everyone was getting off their asses and just dancing. Amie, I forgot to ska dance =(

Awesome pic of the lead singer.

After that was some mat rocker band I hated, it was so fcuking boring it put me to sleep. Most of the crowd loved it though.

Anyway, the next band Furniture (and the last band I watched) was probably the most different from the others. Their sound is melodious and dreamy with awesome build-ups to these big crazy endings.

This is the lead singer, he looked like a lansi mofo but had the cutest voice ever. Daryl was being mean and laughing, and the stupid mat rocker crowd were being rude....some dude shouted "Aku nak kencing lah!" Funny in a way, but I wanted to smack him in the head.

We went headed back to subang on the train after that...I am never, ever taking the trains on a saturday night again. So stuffy we couldn't breathe, and me and jolene were sticking our heads out the doors to take a breathe of air everytime they opened.

And that was that...This year's was waaaay better than 2 years ago in the KLCC car park; makes me proud to be Malaysian. Sort of. Apparently Gerhana Skacinta performed after we left. WITH RADHI. grrrr. But nevermind, we had fun, and there's always next year. =D

quack quack quack

2005-12-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

.....My appeal went through! I'm getting the bloody school certificate! Bless my auntie!

Meaning I won't have to stay back in year 10, and can go on to year 11 to, um, continue on my speedy and wonderous path to a bright and glorious future of fame and fortune and self fulfilment!

Yes, I secretly want to be a god.

This whole good exam results thing is really starting to get to me. I also got some certificate and trophy for something or other, and some dux award. I still think its a stupid word...quack quack quack, I'm a duck. It really bothers me when the oldies go on about my exam results, especially now, its so fcuking amazing to them that I got top of the school. I really don't care, because a) I don't deserve it, and b) most people in Glenmore Park HS are fcuking stupid anyway.

Like last night, I went with my mummy and some Korean aunties for the opening of Shogun, the new Japanese restaraunt in One Utama (sidenote: we koreans don't really like them japs, we think they're self-denying liars but fuck, we love the food). Now, let me introduce you to the world of Korean aunties. They're basically like the typical rich 35-50 year old chinese aunties who don't work, drive nice cars, have rich husbands, have kids who go to private/international schools that charge way too much, and go to lunch/dinner in posh places to occupy themselves.

The only difference is that the Korean aunties tend to dress better, not so gawdy like some of those chinese aunties (no offense), speak korean (obviously), and half of them play golf like, everyday. I swear, its like the official Koreans-living-in-Malaysia past time. They gossip like hell, and once something happens, the whole korean community knows about it. They also like to boast about their kids' achievements at said lunchs/dinners, except the Korean aunties are bloody good at saying it as if they're obliged to tell everyone and their dog.

But last night was worse.

Word got out that I got that duck, I mean dux thing, and all these aunties I'd never met before knew, somehow.

They congratulated me to death and expected me to be so bloody happy as well, and when I genuinely could not give a fcuk, they though I was being modest.

You must be so proud!!! They said to my mother.

You must have big ambitions and plans!!! They said to me.

.......And the worst part?

They were pulling their sons over and introducing them to me.

"Come, my handsome 20 year old korean son who already has a girlfriend, meet Kimberley, she got top of the school! Why are you running away? Ask her for her hand in marriage now, bitch!"

And they all ran away. I think its because I scared them with how much I ate. sigh.

I just realised I haven't put up pix from the formal, so here's just one first of me and shannon (who won best dressed) to entice your taste buds. I know I'm a ghastly shade of white, but I think it goes well with the curls and red dress and lippy. Eat your heart out, sam. I know for a fact that he likes red.

Rock the World's tomorrow, can't wait. Last chance to get tix from me/daryl. He got me a V.I.P pass, yay, see all of ya there =)

Pain junkie

2005-12-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

So its back to my old bullet point ways, because everyone loves an itemised post.

I've been hanging out too much, today's my sorta "off day" from er, social duties.

But some people have begun to piss me off, especially girls. Maybe I've changed. whatever. I wana make some new friends. Diana? Karen? Nazleen? anyone?

I played pool last night at club 7, and I sucked. I blame the venue and loud music; call me an elitist, but I shall never go back to that smelly joint again.

Choon How aka frus says I talk like a bimbo with my fcuked up accent. maybe I am one. who knows?

I am now in love with The Who, thanks to barry the britpop elitist. I think he should write for Q magazine, he's perfect for it.

I'm turning into a piercing junkie. I want....no need, another piercing. I love, love, love the rush you get from the pain of having something pierce your flesh. I know this sounds really stupid, but when I'm stressed out, I like to get pierced, and the pain from the piercing takes the emotional pain away.

I'm thinking of getting my nose pierced...I even dreamed about it yesterday.

And, I'm gona get a tattoo....weeeeee!

Today I watched one of the most boring and predictable movies ever, Shall We Dance. Jennifer Lopez is a horrible actress, and richard gere is too handsome to be someone who writes wills.

But I've kinda been inspired to take latin dance lessons. =D

My dear sweet cousin mel wants to be a sailor, or something. She said it herself!

tequila13 says:
im gonna work on a ship.

tequila13 says:
i dont fudging care.

Libertines binge says:
HAHHAHHHAHHAHA

...and I still need him. more than ever.

2005-12-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

Bloody cibai mahai fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

People, I am screwed beyond screwed.

But first, the good news: I scored 2 Ban 6's ( 90% and over) out of 5 subjects in the school certificate exam (equivilent of o levels, spm etc), and came top in the school!!!!!

Oh joy. I don't really care, but it seems to make the elders happy, and now everyone wants to give me money.

And now, the bad news: *drum roll...*I'm not getting the school certificate!!!

They wont, or perhaps can't, give me the school certificate because I skipped school so much so I didnt meet the requirements, or some shit. Hahaha, very funny right? If it was a newspaper headline, it would read : TOP SCORER IN SCHOOL C HAS TO REPEAT COS SHE SKIPPED SCHOOL SO MUCH. How bloody ironic is that?

In other words, I might not be allowed into St Mary's Senior, and might have to repeat year 10 all over again.

...Not so funny anymore. On tuesday, my auntie (bless her) has to go make an appeal for me, since I'm not even there. I didnt even bother staying for graduation....proves how much i care eh? But I'm sure it'll all work out; I've been in situations like this before and have always managed to save my ass in the last ditch. Or it could be just confidence....do anything with confidence, and you shall succeed. =D

So this is where i need your help, dear reader. I know I'm not the most religious person on earth, but since you love me so much, pray your ass off for me, cos I really, REALLY don't wana go thru the whole year 10 crap again.

Negaraku

2005-12-08T14:28:00.000+08:00

Sudoku: Highly addictive japanese number puzzle.

Sudoku sudoku sudoku...thats all I've been doing since the German scientist next to me on the plane tought me the tricks of the trade after laughing at me as I spent about half an hour trying to figure out puzzle 1 of the beginners section in my sudoku pocket book ($12.95 at the airport...the original!), and now I'm proud to say that I'm a fcuking good Sudoku-er. Sudoker. Its amazingly therepeutic, and at times so frustrating that I forget about everything else and MUST complete certain puzzles.

Aaaah, its good to be back.

Like every previous homecoming, I've spent my first few days back on Malaysian soil doing nothing but eat eat eat.

Nasi lemak....ooooooo!

Roti canai....mmmmmmm!

Prawn laksa.....aaaaaaah!

Nasi Goreng....FUCK YEAH!

Words cannot describe the beautiful, ecstatic sensation one feels while slowly devouring malaysian mamak and hawker and kopitiam food for the first time after months of crappy aussie food, blissfully savouring the near-orgasmic flavours as they explode in your mouth.

And teh o ais limau! You have no idea how much I love that stuff, and it never tastes the same when I make it myself in Aus.

Anyway, I'm going to see Narnia with Vinod tonight, even though I fell asleep reading the book. Is anyone going to Rock the World next saturday? I am. And if you want tickets, ask me...my good friend daryl will be so kind as to sell them to you for RM15 instead of the selling price of RM25.

Aaaah, its good to be back.

Miracle drug

2005-12-03T20:27:00.000+08:00

Crying in public in an outdoor cafe is not fun. People stare at you thinking you're unaware, but are afraid to approach you.

Today I took the gamble. And I lost. Sometimes, hope and optimism is good, but it can kill you in the end when the inevitable truth doesn't fit the way you want it to, like I learnt today. If loving someone doesn't make him love you and instead want someone else, what else can you do about it?

------------------------------------------------

"Why do I always end up the groupie?"

"You're not. You don't have to put a label on everything. "

"You know what I mean."

"But you're not. I've never taken you for granted."

"Then what am I?"

"You know I don't see you that way. You're you."

----------------------------------------------------

I guess 'me' isn't enough. I'm always very 'special and different', but not the right one. Not the one he wants.

I wonder what she has that I don't. Maybe she can drive. She prolly has a car. pffft. Stupid hippie. What kind of 23 year old doesnt drive? hrmph.

Pah..I won't diss him. I don't care anymore. don't want to. I just wana forget about all this crap, and be over and done with this phase of my life. If I don't think, I won't remember, and if I don't remember, I won't feel. Right now, I don't want to believe in anything.

So here's me closing this chapter...I'm curious what my fcuked up fate has in store for me next. Another heartbreak for sure, but the good times in between would be oh so worthit, just like this one. Especially this one. I feel like a little girl again, when all that matters is what comes next.

I land in M'sia tomorrow night. Can't wait. =)

Anything for love

2005-12-01T10:25:00.000+08:00

Its 4 hours til the formal, and what am I doing? I'm blogging.

Right.

I've been hanging out with alot of random people lately. Its good, but it doesnt help.

Saw the movie Everything is Illuminated yesterday at the city...we had no idea what it was, we just picked it off the list, and we LOVED it. But damn, those city cinemas smell.

Ok, I'll cut to the chase...I spoke to sam on the phone last night, and now I know why everything's turned out the way it has.

He reassured me that its all gona work out in the end.

That he wanted me to know he does think about me and very fondly of me, but at the same time we can't always have what we want.

That he doesn't want to involve me in whats happened to him, because I don't have to be a part of it. But I want to.

Now that I know why, that I know half the story but not all of it, I'm worried. I'm worried sick, to tears, I think about it constantly...on the way home yesterday, this morning when i woke up, in the shower, while I was having breakfast with a friend..

I'm not one to just say things like this, and I'm not exactly wide-eyed and optimistic when it comes to love. And I can't say I understand nor do I see sense in his choice, given that if it was me in the position, I would have it another way. My only choices are to accept it, or just screw the whole thing, and I chose the former. So for the time being, I'm gona stand on the sidelines and watch, and wait. People are telling me to just forget about him, but I won't. I'm not ready to move on to someone else, nor do I want to.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm making compromises with my actions here because if there is such a thing as love then more than anything, I love Sam.

And hey, if love is what love's meant to be, then I'm prepared take a chance. Its worth it.

2005-11-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

On Monday, I decided: enough of this moping around shit, its time to get off my sorry ass and make things happen. Thus, I began Mission Get Over Sam, also known as Operation Get a Life You Sad Motherfucker Because You've Ditched Almost Everyone For This Guy And Now Its Time To Get Some Sort Of Social Life Happening. Long winded? possibly. Straightforward? Fuck yeah.

So here's what I did:

Monday morning: Tyree shows up at my doorstep to give me back my army singlet, and I suddenly decide I should go out and get some sun. End up buying her, Amie and Leith drinks at Gloria Jeans.

Monday afternoon: Meet up with Narm at starbucks, stalk starbucks guy. Go to Tree of Life to get this top narm's been dying for, come back to the plaza, shop summore and end up buying this lemon-y soap called 'Bohemian' from Lush, where everything's natural and funky smelling. Narm buys this wake-me-up soap that looked more like jelly; am afraid she being so blur and all might end up eating it soon. After soap purchase, we retire to starbucks once more for more good ol barista stalking.

Monday night: Work. These two goth people walk in, and I somehow end up becoming best friends with them and skipping to Woolies (grocery) to get stuff for boss. Ok, half skipped. Kimmy don't skip in public. Goth people end up vowing to come stalk me when I get back from Malaysia. I feel cool.

Today : Tyree asks if I wana go see corpse bride with her. I oblige even though I've seen it, knowing that going out will take my mind off things. On the bus, we discover that my jumper AND my bag smell like starbucks. Not good. Maybe its a sign I should cut down on the stalking....? Get to penrith. Stalk michael summore. Realise I MUST stop drinking so much coffee and tea products, seeing as to how my bladder seems to be growing incredibly weak (or just increasingly full). Fall asleep at the movie.

Tonight: Go to work at the noodle kitchen even though I'm not meant to. I meet this refreshingly outgoing guy who came to eat with his friend. His name is Paulo, with an O. End up talking to him quite a bit and giving him my email addie and number.

Since last wednesday, I've met 4 new guys. Yep peeps, FOUR guys in less than a week. I constantly amaze myself; I'm doing bloody well for someone who just got dumped by possibly the first guy she's actually loved.

Yep, Operation Get a Life You Sad Motherfucker Because You've Ditched Almost Everyone For This Guy And Now Its Time To Get Some Sort Of Social Life Happening is working out well.

sidenote: I found enlightenment last night on of all things, a blue sheet of A4 paper, headed "a creed to live by". There seems to be a piece of advice for anything on that single sheet of processed-bleached-pressed wood, and I might post it up here one day. It said: The quickest way to lose love is to hold on to it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

I guess I held on a bit too tight. No doubt about that. So here I go, I'mma make my own happiness and give this love some feathered ones, and let it fly. If it comes back, I couldn't possibly be happier, but if it doesn't, hey, I'll live... and it would never have been mine to keep in the first place. =)

I'm Lost; I'm yours.

2005-11-28T09:55:00.000+08:00

You know what? Come saturday, I was over it. Or so I thought. It didn't hurt anymore, even when I thought about the hollowness and this big fcuking hole that's left, I felt no remorse.
I thought, "Wow this is amazing! I'm ok now! I can start living again! And its only been 3 days! I'm amazing! Talk about strength!"

After I was at the library, I went for lunch by myself to this place we went to alot just cos I was hungry and I like the food there, and when the lady asked me, "No sam today?" it all came creeping back. Slowly at first, while I was eating, seeing how I was sitting by myself and getting funny stares from people.

Went for an ice coffee and people watched just to get my mind off things...then he called.

I wanted to just let it ring and not pick up; I picked it up.
I wanted to tell him to fuck off; instead I said hello and how are you like I always do.
I wanted to just hang up in the middle of him talking; instead I listened and let him talk, and pretended everything was alright.
I wanted to be rude and arrogant; I couldn't, and was instead nice and sweet like I always am to him. I can't help it.

We talked for close to half an hour about nothing at all...it was like a quick fix of coke that I needed to keep me going, and I let it set in. After that, I was happy again, yet wanted to slap myself. I realised I could never have the heart to be mean or cold or in anyway negative to the guy; its just not in me to do it to him.

Even talking to steven yesterday (sharing our tales of woe as amie just broke up with him as well on saturday), I could only say nice things and pine for the beginning, when it was all butterflies and smiles. It only made it worse, but I couldn't help it.

Listening to James Blunt's goodbye my lover this morning, it started to feel like wednesday night again; everything bowled over and those damn tears came again. Maybe its just this song..

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

...why does he say goodbye if she's been the one for him?

How do you cope with losing someone who's had plans and big dreams for you, when you didn't have any for yourself, who saw things in you that you yourself didn't know you had, who inspired you to become so much a bigger and better person?

Where do you go and what do you do when you've lost whats become your guide and direction?

psycho stalker crazy girl

2005-11-26T12:59:00.000+08:00

I think I'm turning psycho.

Its 1 pm, and i'm in the library. Why? Cos the next door neighbour was having a an atrociously boring birthday party and I knew that if I stayed I might've ended up cutting my eyes out, so on impulse, I made the excuse to say that I had to go to Penrith to meet sum people.

They insisted on sending me to the bus stop. pfffft.

So here I am, with 3 hours to kill. At the bus stop, this guy came up to me and asked where to wait for the bus...we started talking, and I wanted company (read: psycho), so I asked about his Uni and stuff.

So we talked, and somehow I got to telling him about how I got dumped (side note: amazingly, I'm over it alreday), and he started asking bout the culprit, so I spilt.

Turns out the guy went to school with him, and they know each other. ish.

He came to penrith to pick up a shirt for a wedding in singapore or sum shit, so I went with him cos I've got nuthin better to do...now I'm sorta wondering why I did. he probably thinks I'm crazy or something, and was probably thinking that was why I was binned. But I swear I'm not a stalker nor was I trying to pick up the poor dude, just trying to kill time. Now I'm just counting my lucky stars that they don't keep in touch, and the guy I met on the bus is going to s'pore tomorrow, so he won't have time to go warn the world of my stalker crazy psycho girl tendencies.

So, um, guy from the bus (I think your name was Farhad), if you're reading this, I apologise for my weirdness. Just forget you met me, and shhh don't tell anyone, in case they happen to be my potential love interest.

Great going, Kim, another person you can tick off your list of people you've scared away. Someone please reassure me that there's nothing wrong with me. Or maybe I really am crazy.

2005-11-23T19:10:00.000+08:00

I know I said I wouldn't blog again for a while, but...I got dumped.

Yep, today was such a fucking awesome day....went to the markets with amie and ty, got some clothes, my formal dress (finally! for 25 bucks!), had plenty of starbucks, went to see elizabethtown with sam...and then i got dumped.

Its just ironic, while we were sitting there cuddling, and I remember thinking,

"I feel so safe and protected when I'm with you."

I didnt throw a fit when the bomb dropped, I just kept quiet. What do you say to someone who, right after watching an awesome movie with you, tells you that "I think we should just be better friends, and not anything more...but don't get the wrong idea"?

And truth betold, I'm not really that bitter. Cos I kinda got the whole 'perfect relationship' thing outta my head some time ago, so I knew what to expect. I don't hate him or anything....But I hope I don't ever see his face again.

So here's saying goodbye to the one person who made me happy for the past few months...I guess its back to the real world for now. Some sympathy, please. Its hard to let go of something you've grown attached to.

And hey, this leaves me free to flirt all I want with that dude from starbucks.

His name's michael.

Welcome to the club

2005-11-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

Chickas, especially if, like me, you're the type who likes to hang out with guys, feel my pain. I'm sure you've been in this situation before: You meet a cool guy, you hang out and have lotsa fun but its just a friends thing, until you find out the guy digs you but you don't dig him/are attached, and everything goes weird. Bam, there goes another friendship. What can you do about it? Men are men, and they will gladly hang out with you 24/7 on the sole basis that they find you attractive. pfffft.

Men are assholes. Really. If you still harbour romantic hopes of a perfect relationship, well, forget it. Honestly. And this is coming from me, queen of I-think-every-relationship-is-gona-be-THE-one.

On another note: You know how you're brought up a certain way with certain values and ideals in your head that you stick to, no matter how the situations of the people around you seem to prove otherwise?

Until it happens to you, and your whole view on life changes.

The best way to put it would be that its one of those thing where you think, "that would never happen to me", and then it happens, and then what? I cried, then I got over it amazingly fast. No, I'm not pregnant, and no, I did not have devastatingly dissapointing sex. Thats not the point. Like I always do, I analysed the whole thing, thought of the consequences...and life went back to normal, as if nothing ever happened.

I went out, distracted myself with everything imaginable struggling not to think about it, but I quickly discovered you can never stop thinking about something like this. No matter how hard I tried to push the thoughts away, they always come back. It lurks in the back of your mind the way the aftertaste of blood stays in your mouth. I guess its true that you can't run from your problems.

But then what do you do? Its funny, the one person I thought I could turn to seems to be too wrapped up in his own life to have the time. Like they say, every man's an island. You can't trust anyone, not even your family, and certainly not your motherfucking boyfriend. I repeat: as adorable and sweet and attractive as they may be, in the end men are assholes. Its not your fault, alot of you men fit the description unintentionally, and I think even alot of you would agree to that. Don't attach yourself to one, just use them for for sex and companionship and nothing gets broken.

Nothing's eternal, not even true love, whatever the fuck that is.

That having been said, I won't be blogging for a while. I need to get my head straight, and the net ain't helping. See you guys inKL, drop me an email if you wana meet.

2005-11-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

I fcuking hate travel agencies. Sta travel, flight centre, studentflight, whatever, it doesnt mattter to me, I fcuking hate all of you.

And I hate banks too.

especially National Bank.

motherfuckers.

My flight to M'sia was this special fare thingie I got thru STA travel since my parents are very very kiam siap, and in order to get this ticketed, I had to pay within 3 days of booking the ticket, and this was saturday. That one nevermind, fair enough right? I told em my dad would pay and they said, all good, they'll send him an authorisation form.

Come today, they called me up at some stupid hour in the morning in the middle of my oh so sweet dream (making out with sam on the beach) and asked me if I'm gona go and pay today.

wtf?wtf?wtf?

Then I found out my dad's goin to court today (lawyer, not criminal) so he can't do it, hence my only option left was to pay by cash. And my bank account has like what, 50 bucks? Ooooh, but that one STIL nvm, I had like 2 hours left. plenty of time. So I called my mummy, and I managed to get some money from her account into mine. BUT, I was in the middle of curling my hair with them iron tongs thingies. And that took another half an hour. ok I know I'm vain, but thats not the point.

I got to town at 4.20 pm only to find....the bank was closed. What kind of bank closes at 4?? all the other close at 5. lazy national gaybos. And by this time I was panicking and sweaty from running to the bank, and my real only choice left was the atm. I can't remember pin numbers. Only vaguely remembered this one, so I typed it in and, holy shit it worked! and then when I pressed the 'withdraw' button, it told me its the wrong pin. pfffft. So I did the whole thing again, wrong pin again. and again. I must've done this about 4 times while swearing profusedly at the machine, attracting some weird stares but finally, it worked.

Then the fcuking thing told me I can only withdraw 1000 bucks a day, and my ticket is 1400 or sth. With only 20 minutes left, my only choices left were to:

run around penrith and ask people for their spare change (and then some)
run to my restaraunt and ask my boss for some cash
pray that the travel agents love me enough to lend me 400 bucks.

So I thought practically: who would be willing to lend me 400 bucks, and actually have it too? Enter Sam. I call him up to discover that, of course he's more than happy to come up with the cash, except he's in the hospital with a broken finger. *sigh*

This was when, breatheless and hopeless, I gave up all hope of going back to M'sia before ame's birthday which is on the 6th of december (see, i'm such a good friend). And so I then retired to the new starbucks and ordered a green tea frap, where the barista was oh so cute and flirty. But thats another story.

How now? Better start building a boat and learn to navigate thru the sea.

HAH! Look! I just found an even cheaper flight on the internet! *Books flight*

Travel agencies. sheesh. when will they learn?

2005-11-21T10:23:00.000+08:00

So a few days ago in Penrith, this guy Greg got stabbed in the face. IN THE FACE. Motherfuckers.

To my own surprise, I wasn't too shocked when I heard it; nothing's shocking to me anymore and I take it as a bad thing. But Penrith is, after all, full of wanna-be mofos looking for an excuse to look tough. And when I say full, I mean as in literally 80% of the kids living here think they're gangsta but are in fact try hard pussies. Or maybe its just cos I don't like that greg kid too much...He was kicking flowers in front of the library and when Sam yelled at him, he smiled back like some stupid idiot and that look on his face made me want to kick him in the nuts. And on other occasions when I spoke to him, he really gave me the impression that he had no balls.

But still, thats no reason not to feel sorry for the dude, and I do. Don't laugh, but he had to have plastic surgery to fix his face. He was stabbed with a broken bottle, and another girl got hit in the head.

Motherfuckers.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Last night, I dyed my hair with L'oreal Feria blablabla in some shimmery light brown colour and...I love it! I was paranoid that I would look lala but I don't! Kinda makes me why I didnt do this earlier. I'm putting in some purple when I get back to M'sia. 2 weeks. Yeeeeaaah.

Universally speaking

2005-11-20T17:27:00.000+08:00

now I ain't sayin she's a gold digger
but she ain't messin with no broke niggas..

Oh man, I'm lovin Kanye West...in fact, I'm also loving lyrics born, wu tang clan, fugees, sarah jones, public enemy, old black eyed peas stuff...I'm just lovin the rap. Incredibly weird since, just a year ago, I passionately refused to listen to it, and now its all I listen to. Damn you, sam. Granted, I still won't listen to the likes of Chingy/50 cent/eminem/that stupid humps song because they down right suck, but I'm beginning to realise that, hey, rap music can actually be pretty decent stuff. Especially the old school beats.

I think that people who only listen to one genre of music are elitist mofos, me included. All I used to listen to was rock rock and more rock. But hanging out with all these weird whacky wonderful people over the past year's opened my ears up to alot. Why listen to just one kind of music when there's so damn much this world has to offer?

I remember as a kid, there was this ONE rap song I listened to - Gangsta's paradise, i fcuking loved it even though I had no idea what it was about. This was when I was about 7 or 8, when it was still socially exceptable to be listening to cassette tapes, and this particular song was on the Grammy Nominees 1996 compilation. I think I bought it cos of the lemon tree song.

I wonder how
I wonder why
yesterday you told me bout the blue blue sky
and all that I can see
Is just another lemon tree

Ah, the good ol days in blue and white uniforms singing songs we didn't understand. Remember that?

Music is universal, plain and simple. You can distort it, bastardise it, classify and divide it into a million different genres but in the end, music is what it is: the most powerful medium in the world, and THAT, people, is why you should never write off a song before even listening to it.

2005-11-20T01:13:00.000+08:00

*edited for like the 1263467th time* Disclaimer: As a good friend, I thought it would be in Penny's aka Suet Mei of www.pennypupz.ravishing.net best interest that i should let it be known that she is in no way married or romantically linked to Frus aka Choon How of frus.blogdrive.com. Yet. So if you're male, single, malaysian and interested, Penny is, POSSIBLY, single and looking, so if you find that she is coming on to you, make the move!

*Bright and chirpy tone* Hello, dear reader! How are you?? It's 1.30 am here and I'm having a helluva time ;p

Lately, I've been playing matchmaker to some single peers of mine and having a ball at it. My most recent victims were Penny and Frus.

Crunch time, and I blog in true barry style:

Frus O'Gehry says:
ehem
Frus O'Gehry says:
suet mei?

-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
bringing up some history
-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
kinda stoned atm
-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
sorry

Frus O'Gehry says:
ive always wanted to tell u something

Kiiiiiiim - M'sia in 3 weeks. HELL YEAH! says:
wah so fast

Frus O'Gehry says:
*gives lalang ring*

Kiiiiiiim - M'sia in 3 weeks. HELL YEAH! says:
*music*

-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
...

Kiiiiiiim - M'sia in 3 weeks. HELL YEAH! says:
*doves fly, fill up the sky*

Frus O'Gehry says:
what i wanted to tell is that...

Kiiiiiiim - M'sia in 3 weeks. HELL YEAH! says:
*violins*

-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
....

Frus O'Gehry says:
I.... I.....

-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
cant u be a lil teeny weeny bit realisitc
-SuetMei- are u a cherryboi? says:
tq

Frus O'Gehry says:
I.... am not gay

*sigh* all that suspense for nothing. Oh well, that should clear things up then...at least now we know fo sho that frus is not la hor, penny? ;p

3 more weeks to M'sia. I CAN'T WAIT.

click click

2005-11-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

Today was weird. It was one of those days where so much happens, you encounter so many people, but yet you still feel so ostracised and solitary.

I went for my last ever guitar lesson at school after 6, 7 months of guitar lessons every week just so I could skip classes. It was weird saying bye to my teacher; what do you say to a person you've spent half an hour with every week for the past few months, yet know virtually nothing about?

Anyway, I also booked my air ticket to M'sia....its confirmed people, I'm touching down at 11.45 pm on the 4th of December (Sunday). I'm gona be there for almost 2 months this time, which I think is crazy long. On one hand I'm gona have all the time in the world to meet up with everyone I didn't get to the last time around, but then again, I'm risking my jobs here. ANd I don't know how I'm gona get thru being away from someone who's been my rock for the past few months. Then again, hey, its me, I'll live.

I THINK I had lunch with amie today at the new plaza before she went to work, or was it yesterday? My memory (or lack of) is killing me.

Went to the library to kill the 5 hours I had left til it was time for work, and....I fell asleep in front of everyone, reading the end of Bob Dylan's Chronicles Volume 1. That book is amazing yet so tiring to read. I THINK I talked to tyree who was telling me that Tabitha looks like a mushroom/kid with down's syndrome after her new haircut. It must suck to look like a mushroom and down's syndrome patient at the same time.

Had a latte to wake up; I'm dissapointed in myself, I've become caffeine dependent again after about 3 months of abstinence from all harmful substances.

Work was weird as well, but in a good way. Kelly, the other boss's niece was there; she's fun. I don't know why, but it felt like I hadn't met someone I could have such an easy conversation with in such a long time. Its like I didn't have to make an effort to be funny/smart/impressive, the conversation just flowed and silence wasn't awkward.

We'd met her once before when I went there to eat with Sam before I started working there, and when I was on the phone with him tonight and telling him about it, he said "oh, the pretty one?" and I got miffed. I get so fcuking jealous its not funny. I wish I weren't dependent on others for my happiness, the way bob dylan described his wife.

Emotional independence does not come easy.

*click* like my photos? I'm proud.

Sam might be coming to Malaysia. Fuck, this is gona be fun.

2005-11-16T20:22:00.000+08:00

Australia won the world cup qualifiers against uruguay!!!!

after 31 years!!!!!!1111oneoneoneeleveneleven

.....AND I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE MATCH UNTIL THE PENALTY SHOOTOUT.

I blame the internet for keeping me away from the real world these past few days.

And why didn't anyone tell me? Huh? Did you not know I'm a fan of soccer, from the Man U poster up in my room to my pink soccer jersey that says Italia??? Damn you sam, I bet you didn't even plan on going til today or yesterday.

But yeah, Australia won, and its all cos of John Safran and his chicken sacrificing ritual with the witch doctor in Mozambique. and I swear I'm not a freak.

Have YOU seen my family?

2005-11-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

Uh oh. Help help.

My family's missing.

Ok this is damn weird lah. Since this morning I've been calling my house in M'sia to get my mum to pay for my air ticket, and no one's picked up the phone. Called both my mummy's and daddy's hp, and no answer. This is weird because:

even if my family wasn't home, our maid would pick it up.
my mum never leaves the house without her hp.
At first I thought, maybe its Ching Ming time (when everyone goes to clean up the graveyards of dead ones and give offerings etc) so they must've left early in the morning, but, hey, its November and isn't Ching ming in like April or something?

So yeah, fuckety fuck, has anyone seen my family?

Tell you how to spot them, damn easy one:

My two sibs, about 5 years old, a boy and a girl, and the boy is bigger than the girl and eats damn alot, even though they are twins. They are both very cute and adorable, just like their big sister. The boy is chubby and round, resembles winnie the pooh, and the girl is small and dainty but damn pretty, once again, looks just like her big sister.
Middle aged woman, about 5 ' 2, dresses quite classy and speaks funny bm.
Middle aged man, about 5' 6 or 5' 7, always wearing business shirt with sleeves rolled up, glasses, curly hair, pot belly.
You'll instantly be able to tell its them because when the whole family is out together,there are about 3 or 4 languages spoken: My bro and sis converse in english, while my mother sometimes uses Korean, while my dad tries, TRIES to speak in mandarin with the twins who don't seem to understand it one bit, and sometimes some BM will shoot out of nowhere, usually from my dad trying to make his kids multi-lingual.

So there you go, thats my family and how to spot them. I need to talk to my mummy who will pay for my air ticket, otherwise this lil girl will be stuck here forever =(

Have YOU seen the Lows today?

In Between Dreams

2005-11-15T09:45:00.000+08:00

I've been a total bitch yesterday, so here's a public apology to everyone I've been rude to(which would've probably been every other person I encountered).

Newtown Love Fest was on Sunday, but we ended up spending more time at the Spanish Fiesta in the city....there's something so mesemerising about bongo drums to me.

Woke at about 6.30 this morning...this whole waking up at a crazy hour business is starting again! All I've been doing these days is just sitting around and wasting all my time...and it feels great. The mere fact that I could now be finished with high school is just so weird, its long-awaited yet its come too soon.

This morning I watched "The Natural History of the Chicken", which is, just as the title suggests, a documentary about chickens (and the very *ahem* normal and un-pathetic people who are in love with them), something Sam's been raving about and bugging me to watch...now I'll never look at chickens the same way.

Val, your very belated present is on the way, its worth the wait, hold tight.

2005-11-10T16:31:00.000+08:00

Man, I'm one confused chicka.

Don't wanna sound whiney, but with a brain like mine, you're bound to break into spastic bouts of confusion every once in a while. All I do is think and theorise and analyse situations and relationships to the point of paranoia, which would then in turn always fuck up my otherwise quite level and reasonable view on the world.

Example : I'm asking myself why it is that, even though I'm hanging out with the perfect guy who's everything I ever wanted and more, I'm still falling for someone else. Does this mean that the perfect guy could possible be, *gasp*, NOT the one? Perhaps there is no such thing as the one, and instead like he says, you meet someone, fall in love, maybe even get married and have kids, but in the end you fall out of love and start all over again with someone new. So if it IS indeed so, then why do some people have everlasting relationships? How does THAT work? And why the fuck am I falling for someone else? Is there no limit to the want of satisfaction?

...and it goes on and on.

The worst thing is, I never come to a good, plausible conclusion because my thoughts just drift into something else totally different and irrelevant, and then I go blank.

. . .

I'm not gona blog for another 3 days. Otherwise I feel like I'm losing appeal.

To who?

To myself.

I wana paint my picture,
paint myself blue and red,
black and grey...
all the meaningful colours;
Grey is my favorite colour,
so symbolic..
Help me believe in me,
help me believe in anything?

2005-11-10T09:55:00.000+08:00

Ok, I'm not so jealous anymore. argh. slap slap.

Had a 5 hour long chat sesh with Leon last night til about 2.30 am, geez that guy is smart. He said something that made alot of sense, about expectations and how perhaps the bar for standardised society view of human depth is maybe a bit too high, meaning that shallow can sometimes be ok.

And I decided to start writing with thought again, because I feel my literary skills are waning... Its the reason why I began blogging, so that I'd have some sort of reason to keep on writing after I stopped classes with Chin San Sooi.

Anyway, I'm off to school. Performing Goodbye To You for assembly, though I don't really want to. Wish me luck and hope people don't cry again.

2005-11-09T17:40:00.000+08:00

Jealous.

I'm jealous

jealous

jealous.

Fuck her and her poetry. I can write better.

You watch.

I'm not one to be jealous of other people, but when they're good at something I am, in the same fucking way, the green eyed monster can't help but do its job.

Gutter Kiss Lulu, we're gona come up with some kick ass lyrics.

You watch.

Just a year ago...

2005-11-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

Here's a big FUCK YOU to the Australian public for not voting for Dan on Australian Idol.

Ok ok, I know the show's fucking lame, and I've been getting flak from a certain mr i'm-such-an-elitist-non-conformist for watching it, but how can you not fall in love with this??

He sang Mr Big's 'To Be with You'....you know, that song that goes "I'm the one who wants to be with you, deep inside I hope you feel it too"...and not only that, but he sang a kick-fucking-ass rendition of Unchained Melody summore. Dreadlocks AND sweetness.

I rest my case.

Exams are over, I can officially leave school now, if I want to that is. Not that I have a choice. bleh.

Today, I found out something very, very important: I can no longer go more than one day without my glasses, or I get these excruciating headaches. Gosh I am becoming such a geek. But nevermind, because geeks are cool...shut up. they are.

Had nothing better to do, so I decided to look at some old photos from last year and guess what I found....

the reason why 15 year olds shouldnt drink.

...I don't even remember the name of the dude on the left.

Fringe days.

Missin ya, people.

2005-11-07T19:13:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I don't wana sound like a smart arse, but the exams were just so fcuking easy today. And guess what? I'm tied with this nice girl Erin for top place of the whole fcuking grade for English. I was like, wtf? I don't deserve it. I hardly put in any effort...I just have a nice teacher. Give the position to someone else, for fucks sake.

Ever wondered what I would look like with sexy, curly hair?
No?
Fuck you.
Here are some cool, jus-before-bedtime pictures.
I got the curls by twisting all my hair into a low bun...this technique has to be done with extreme care as to how high you twist, direction of twist and how strong you twist it, or you'll end up with hair too poofy on one side and limp on the other.
Or even worse,
Poodle hair.
Now
LOOK AT THEM
or you're banned from my blog forever.
And no,
I don't know why I'm typing
like this.

2005-11-06T15:19:00.000+08:00

Library.

3.19 pm.

Fuck fucking fuck, School Certificate (equivilent of O levels) exams start tomorrow.

I know that, if I still were in M'sia, I'd be at home every day and night stressing out and trying to study but not being able to get a single thing in my head.

Instead, I am refuging in the library from my aunt, whom I hate so so so so much, don't think I've ever hated anyone this much before in my life. And I'm not a hateful person at all...but thats another sorry for another post.

I can usually study for hours in the library, but not today...my eyes are tired from crying last night. Yeah, I cried and cried and cried for 3 good hours before finally falling asleep, and today it still hurts...Sam's coming in a few minutes, maybe that'll numb it. I hate relying on guys to make things better, but then again there it is.

And for once, its not guy problems. For a long time I thought it was all my fault, but last night I finally figured it all out, relieved yet hurt that for once my pain is not self-inflicted and therefore completely unfair and uncalled for. I don't think another person has ever make me cry, I've never LET anyone, guys excepted, but thats something else.

Maybe I'm not as tough as I thought.

2005-11-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

Oh my god oh my god oh my god guess what people....

THE INTERNET'S FIXED! I HAVE THE INTERNET AGAIN! I CAN BLOG AND CHAT ON MSN AND ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD MUSIC AGAIN!!!

Aaaaah, this feels soooooo good sitting in front of my laptop with the internet working again. And yes, I just realised I sound like a total geek.

I was gona tell you about what I got up to last Friday at the bus stop, but damn malas lah (too lazy/couldn't be bothered). Lets just say it involved me, Shannon (guy from school), a KFC Drive Thru, crispy strips, and a supermarket trolley. You fill in the blanks =)

I recently borrowed a book from the library about the lives of the muses who've inspired men such as Sigmund Freud and John Lennon. I found it really interesting, cos I've always had this secret desire to be a muse...how great would that be?

Also, 3 more days till I'm free free free....I've got soooo much planned to do..:

Rehearse garbage's 'only happy when it rains' with amie and janelle, we're performing in a few weeks under the name Gutter Kiss. I wanted the Lulus, or even Gutter Kiss Lulu on the sole basis that it sounds cooler and more original than Gutter Kiss, but Gutter Kiss won, so gutter kiss it is.
Find a dress for the formal...its only a month away, and I must be the only girl who hasn't found one yet.
BEACH BEACH BEACH!
POOL POOL POOL!
Tie Dye. This is like a childhood dream of mine...I always wanted to do it when I was a kid just cos it looked so cool, but my mummy never let me, cos it was too much of a hippie thing to do. LOL.
Find a piano teacher....I really should finish off grade 8.
More beach, more pool, and more tie dye!

Anyway, I'm off to work. Some mexican chick is chatting with me on msn; she found my email addie from a Milo Ventimiglia fan page I have no recollection of joining.

Is this love is this love is this love?

2005-11-04T14:51:00.000+08:00

Where do I start where do I start...?

Alrighty, I'l start with the big news....I'm going to M'sia in December. Again. Ok ok, that didn't sound so enthusiastic...I'M GOING BACK TO M'SIA IN DECEMBER FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A YEAR!!

Yah mahn(Yeah man in jamaican accent), I'll be there before Xmas...and this time, I don't even wana go back. No, no....don't get me wrong, I still love you M'sians and everything Malaysian. Its just that, ever since I started working, I've become damn reluctant to rely on my parents for money, and this time my mummy wants to pay for my ticket cos I couldn't be bothered to put another Rm3000 debt to my name. Oh well, here's to another holiday spent playing waaaay too much pool.

by the way, i think some cute dude sitting opposite me is trying to talk to me, but after all the weird/boring/bloody-effing-boring conversations I've had with random strangers in the library, I've lost all hope in meeting someone as awesome as sam. (cue aaaaaaaaaw)

So I'm just nodding along and smiling.

I think he thinks I can't speak english. lol.*sigh*

I'm not liking my second job too much. You see, this other restaraunt is smaller, and the owner, Tawoon, is the only person cooking when I'm there. She's gota be about 55 or 60, and I'm always so worried she's just gona croak (as in die) in the middle of cooking. I've been trying to learn to cook, but omfg I can't cook for nuts...all I can make is curry and fried rice, and so now when I'm hungry at home, I make curry and fried rice. pffft.

My exams start monday and end tuesday...and after that its no more Glenmore Park for me! I've decided to just not go to school anymore after the exams, and instead spend my time playing lots of pool and chilling at the beach...I can't wait, even found the perfect bikini that makes my barely there boobies look, er, there.

Anyone listen to Ben Harper? Last night at work, Sam dropped by just to give me this ben harper double cd, and I've been playing it on my laptop nonstop. That boy makes me so happy. =) But this whole thing scares me, cos I know that when its over, I'm gona go crazy depressed and suicidal.

And I don't need that.

argh.

2005-11-02T18:59:00.000+08:00

In the library, thought I might as well churn out another post just cos I can.
I wana write for frankie. its so fcuking cool.
Why do guys dig chicks in glasses? I'm getting more attention now that I'm wearing em...
....although the only reason I wear em is cos, well, I can't see much without em anymore.
I've been listening to alot of weird music lately. Check out this kickass cute, poppy electronic duo b(if)tek

irony on a sunday

2005-11-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

The weather's been warming up in the past week; the sun's been out, hardly any rain, and the flies've been swarming about, what with the humidity and all, signifying one thing...summer's coming!

And on Friday night, my hippie/stoner/psychotic/amnesic but oh-so-much fun workie Narm asked if I wanted to go to the beach on Sunday, and my reaction was "FUCK YEAH!" because, if you didnt already know, I LOVE the beach, more than I love....the internet. Yeah.

So anyway, I was crazy psyched for this trip....the sun, the surf, the sand, and the coolest people in the world ie sam, narm, leon (pool buddy I met on the train...long story)....what could be better? I was so damn excited, I didnt mind waking up at 6.30 in the morning to get ready. I was so damn excited that, saturday night at work, I jumped around the place telling everyone...the chefs, the kitchenhands, the motherfucker of a boss, even the last few customers, who thought I was crazy. I wonder why, stupid people.

Come Sunday morning, I woke up right on time at 6.30, looked out the window, and....

the bloody rain was pouring not just cats and dogs, but chickens and pigs as well.

But, nevermind, this didn't dampen my spirits (pun intended), and I got ready anyway, beach towels and all, and headed for the beach with Narm. I just decided, hey, if I don't bring an umbrella with me, it won't rain....right?

Boy was I wrong. It rained all day, ALL FCUKING DAY. It rained so much that the guys didn't make it, so it was just me and Narm. It rained so much there was hardly anyone at the beach. It rained so much that the only use of my beach towel was to cover our heads while crossing roads etc since I with my stupid stupid confidence that it wouldn't rain refused to bring an umbrella. The only good thing we got out of the day was that I got to get some photos. Curse the outdated date-stamp, and I couldnt be bothered to photoshop em...

Ah, public transport. DOn't you just LOVE it? *note sarcasm*

enough fingers to make a starfish, enough skin to cover the toes...

Narm and the closetgroupie, and yes I know I look stupid.

Platform 24

Arun, cute 4 year old boy on the train I played with to kill time. He kept asking me to show me his scary face, and when I asked for his, this is what he gave me. Little cutie. yeah, I like em young, lol.

Also did a bit of shopping, and even that was no good since I was next to broke, my auntie having taken my money to pay for the piano and all, or So I Thought.

And that, people, is a whole other story I shall tell in my next post. Actually, I have to go home now cos I feel bad for using the internet at amie's and ignoring her. But read on. =)

2005-10-27T17:18:00.000+08:00

You don't realise how bloody ignorant you are without the internet, until...well...you don't have the internet.

Last night on SBS on the program Dateline (i think), there was a feature on malaysia....I heard the word 'malaysia' and tuned in immediately, even skipping my essential weekly dose of House M.D, which is, dear reader, a HUGE sacrifice. So anyway, back to the feature. I only managed to catch the last 10 minutes of it...from what I gathered, it was pretty big, they were saying something about Malaysia being at a turning point, that about the revival of Islam...couldn't quite figure out what was going on. They were talking about how the majority of the new generation is of middle class malays, something about the Zouk raid, interviews with a few people...in fact, here's the link to that report, its on the bottom. GO read it.

Here are a few excerpts from the transcript:

LIM KIT SIANG, FEDERAL OPPOSITION LEADER: I was arrested three years ago for advocating that Malaysia must remain as a multi-religious, secular, democratic nation. As I said, such advocacy in the first three decades of Malaysian nationhood wouldn't have raised any eyebrows, now it's regarded as bordering on being anti-national, of being un-Malaysian, of trying to destroy the very fabric of this Malaysian nation. So I think the goalposts are being moved, and I think these are matters of very grave concern.

Oklah people, Malaysia is a democracy. DEMOCRACY. Malaysia sells its image as a peaceful, multi racial nation with citizens tolerant of other races...so why does Lim Kit Siang get arrested for simply reiterating the conceptsof which the very foundation our country is built on? And I must agree that the idiots who say he is being anti-national can go to hell...I'm sure thousands more feel the same way, and is he not advocating this out of concern for the country?

here's another:
At the conference the divide between Malaysia's Muslims and non-Muslims became clear.
WOMAN: I think the real conflict is whether Malaysia is a multi-racial country or an Islamic country. That is the basic thing.
MAN: They have the right to criticise Islam but, at the same time, they don't have the right to teach us how we are going to practice as a Muslim.
WOMAN 2: In Malaysia we have politicised, we have racialised our Islam. Don't demonise us non-Muslims, we will talk about when the Sharia does impact on us and we will be allowed to do so, please.
WOMAN 3: I think when I donate blood, my blood may go to the Muslim, when I pay my tax, my money benefits too.
Zainah Anwar was a keynote speaker at the conference.
ZAINAH ANWAR: The question as to what interpretation and understanding of Islam should be law must be open to public debate.

This is another thing that bugs me about the way things are...religion and politics don't have to and shouldn't have to mix. Religion is a private, personal thing, and in a democratic country everyone, be it muslim buddhist christian hindu should have the right to practice their religion as they wish.

And here's the biggie:
DR JEMILAH MAHMOOD: We look at that move by people to liberalise Islam because their perception of being liberal is to be Westernised and I think that's a wrong perception. You do not have to be conforming to what Western traditions demand of you to be a liberated human being.

Omfg, lady, being liberal ISN'T about being westernised, everyone knows that. Being liberal is about doing and being what you want, and if people want to follow the western ways then so be it. Conform? DEMAND of you? wtf?

The way I see it, alot of the people in power only know how to see things from one side, and I believe this is wrong. With power not only comes responsibility, but consequence as well.

Here's something I'd like to point out...while it is a fact that Malays were in M'sia first and the chinese and indians came later, why is it that there is still racial discrimination, when the Chinese and Indians in M'sia today were born and raised in Malaysia and are just as Malaysian as Muslims/Malays?

2005-10-24T15:42:00.000+08:00

Ok people, this is gona be a post of a romantic, so if you don't like the relationship dilemmas, fcuk off, you've been warned.

I've been wondering, if you truly love someone, is it wrong to selfishly want them all to yourself, to want them to spend all their time with you and only you? Because, as something like what the bible says (though I'm not a big fan of it), love is generous and unselfish and blablabla...There's someone whom I care for very much and adore and like alot, and I'm being selfish and feel like I deserve something in return for all my unconditional attention, although I don't want to admit it. But then again, I never believed that book. No offense to the believers, don't wana spark another religion-based squabble agian.

On another note, I've got one or two new pics on deviant art....check it out at wwww.closetgroupie.deviantart.com